Strange Encounters
by Jaded Kitten
Summary: REVAMPED!Join Maria and friends as they struggle to keep their sanity as the loveable, and some unloveable, characters make their lives a living hell. Marry and Pippin are pervs, Arwen has started a silent war with Akiera, gollum drives everyone insane...
1. The Storm

**Well here it is..a revamped version of Strange Encounters...it really needed it...hope you all enjoy...**

**ok yeah I don't own the LOTR characters...don't want to...they're a pain...hold on  
(glares at Marry) what do u think ur doing?  
Marry: N-nothing...  
Me: That's what I thought...**

Ana Maria wasn't what you would call an average girl. Sure she was pretty, but that wasn't what made her so different from the rest. What made her different was that she had more money than a person could ever think of having, all before she turned the age of 18. By the age of 19, she was running her late fathers recording company, well half of it anyway. Within the four years of her take over she had done a better job of it than her father had, which was saying a lot. The label was already the number one label before she came into the picture, she just gave it a younger and edgier feel that the label needed. Of course, she also had an amazing ear and eye for talent, but the board didn't care. They wanted the company solely for themselves, they didn't see why they had to share half of it with a spoiled little rich girl, even if she wasn't really spoiled.

Lately, everything seemed to be chaotic, more so than normal. It was all because of the band she signed two years ago, called Seductive Rose. The past year was spent recording their first album and they were finally finished, soon getting to the fun but hectic part of the whole thing. She had been swamped with the promoting, making sure they were on any show that had musical performances, even some that didn't. Since the band seemed to become an overnight success, she had been trying to get everything for a worldwide tour in order, sure she could have left everything up to their manager and producers but she wanted this band's success to be all of her doing so the board would see what an asset she really was to them.

Two months of preparation had consumed her mind, she couldn't think of nothing but the tour, even though the tour had been going strong for three months. She was thinking about extra shows she could add on or concert ticket promotions she could do, everything but relaxing.This was supposed to be the day that she relaxed at home with her four closest friends and have fun.

She sat blankly at the kitchens island, her eyes seemingly starring at the rain hailing on the other side of the kitchen's glass windows and doors, yet, her mind being occupied with other things. She didn't even pay any notice to the four girls running around her over-sized kitchen until a sharp pain consumed her arm. Blinking, she noticed their presence for the first time, rubbing her sore arm in the process.

"I knew that would get your attention." The red head, who was referred to as Ayumi, replied, giving the girl a small smile before taking the seat next to her.

Maria returned the smile, turning her attention to the activity around her. They were all scurrying around mixing drinks, making snacks, or popping popcorn. Maria let another smile pass her lips, it was nice having everyone close to her living with her. It wasn't until now that she realized how happy she was that they had convinced her to keep this manor and allowed them to move in with her.

It had belong to her father, who was considerably rich even before the start of his recording label, all thanks to his family ancestry. The manor and fortune was all his by inheritance, as well as hers after his untimely death. She never knew this much about his life, since he had abandoned her and her mother when she was quite young. Even though she was estranged from him, the news of his death was painful. Now here she was the owner of both his estate and company.

"Man, it's raining pretty hard out there." Her brown haired friend Nicole stated, taking the seat on the other side of Maria.

The blond, Akira, stopped pouring drinks to observe the rain. "Yeah...it looks like it's raining a ton of bricks out there.."

Anah, being a bit absent-minded, left the popcorn to go stare out the window only to turn around disappointed.

"I didn't see any bricks...just a lot of fucking rain..." She mumbled, going back to work on the popcorn.

"What?" Akira raised an eyebrow, starring confusingly at the back of the goofy short haired brunette.

"YOU said it was raining bricks, but I didn't seeing any bricks...WHERE the HELL are the damn BRICKS?" An ah turned to look at her short friend, with narrowed eyes. Maria tried to dislodge the piece of popcorn from her throat at the sudden out burst.

"It...it was a...a figure of speech...it's not really raining bricks..." Akita's eye began to twitch.

"OH...oh well...okay then..." The lanky girl's anger seemed to disperse in the matter of seconds, a goofy grin forming on her face, turning back to work on the popcorn again.

"Something is seriously wrong with that girl...think she's a little mental if you ask me." Akira mumbled before turning back to her own task. All the while, Nicole and Ayumi tried to help Maria with the popcorn in her throat. Finally, it freed itself from her, fling across the island and hitting Anah in the eye, who began to mumble something about popcorn, evil, conspiracies against her, and demon corn eating babies.

Ayumi opened her mouth as if to respond to her weird friends rants but was stopped at the sudden sound of thunder piercing the air, followed by a loud rumble and thumbing sounds coming from above their heads. Everyone stared at each other.

"What the hell was that?" Nicole stated, looking a bit jumpy.

"Well, we know what that thumbing sound wasn't..." Maria shot a glace Akira's way, a knowing grin forming on her face as Akira tried to look innocent. "...damn jack rabbit..." Ayumi laughed at the blush forming on Akira at the sudden mention of her private affairs. Before anyone responded further, they were plunged into darkness by the sudden power failure.

"This is just great, the one night we all decide too get drunk and act stupid everything else acts stupid for us." Akira groaned in annoyance. Slowly they all begun to move around the kitchen, searching for anything they would give them light.

"ow...son...of...a...BITCH!" Ayumi scream after stubbing her foot on something, it was at that time the lights decided to flicker back on.

"About damn time...I felt like I was stuck in a scene from a really shitty horror movie. You know, where the lighting flashes and you can see the killer approaching it's victim, but the victim is to damn dumb to turn around...I hate that shit...they never turn around when they are about to die, but always when they're being chased." Maria mumbled, not really paying attention to anything she just said.

"Yeah, well this shitty little horror movie isn't over yet, we still have that noise other to check out." Akira chipped in.

"I vote that it was just a tree..." Maria replied.

"Well, unless that tree landed above us and walked around admiring the paintings and shit...it wasn't a tree." Ayumi stated, grabbing a bat out of the broom closet. "I vote we should check it out." She took a moment to practice her swing.

"I'm with her." Nicole stated, moving next the the bat swinging Ayumi.

"When...the...hell did we get a bat..who and the hell plays baseball in this damn place?" Anah eyed the girl.

"What? It was pretty and shinny...so I bought it...look...shinny.." Ayumi made a giggling sound as she studied the bat.

"O...k...never mind about Anah being the odd one..." She shook her head of the last thought. "Anyway my vote still stands on the tree theory...so I'm going to look for that..." Maria turned her back to leave

"I'm going to go with her...even if the tree theory is a load of shit..I rather get wet than hacked to death...sorry." Akira followed after Maria.

"Hmmm...she has a point...to our death then?" Ayumi asked, raising the bat in the air.

"To our death...here...here..." Nicole raised her fist before following behind Ayumi.

"Yeah...I'm staying right here and make me a peanut butter and jelly...because it's...peanut butter jelly time." Anah continued to sing the dreaded song as she made her sandwich.

* * *

Soon Maria and Akira were standing in the large foyer, soaking wet, after an unsuccessful mission to find a fallen tree that didn't exist. Not to long after, they were joined by a jumpy Ayumi and Nicole.

"Did you guy's find anything?" Maria asked, raising an eyebrow at their nervous behavior.

"N-no...nothing...just a few scares here and there...but nothing..." Nicole tried to catch her breath, who knew that this place could seem so creepy on nights like this.

"How about you guys?" Ayumi pointed the tip of the bat in their direction.

"No, nothing...just enjoyed a nice cool shower..oh the fun..so called fallen tree my ass." Akira turned her glare towards Maria, her sarcasm nearly seeping venom.

"You act like I forced you to go, you followed me on your own buddy..." Maria flipped her wet hair, flicking water on everyone.

"Well you shouldn't..." Akira's retort was cutoff by the screams of Anah coming from the kitchen.

**:A/N: Come on...review...I promise it gets funnier...especially funnier than this...**


	2. Two Unexpected Guess

**Chapter 2:** **Two Unexpected Guess**

Anah sat at the isand humming while enjoying one of her two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, staring at them entently before the taking of every large bite. She stopped to stare at the refrigarator door, wondering if she should finish this delicacy off with a glass of milk. She stared from her sandwich to the refrigator and back again, repeating this process more than one could count, it was quite a walk. Anah took one more look from her sandwich to the refrigator, this time noticing that the door now stood wide open.

She rubbed her eyes as if she had imagined it, but it was still open. Slowly she lifted from her seat, cautiously moving towards the open door. Her nerves heightened at the sudden sound of whispered voices on the other side. Anah took a deep breath, trying her hardest to calm her overactive mind. _'Okay..it's nothing...lack of sleep..you've been working hard...'_ Anah begin nodding her head in agreement with the voice. _'Lack of sleep my ass...it's those damn corn demons...they want to eat your babies...'_

_'Wait..I don't have any babies'_

_'Even worse...they want to eat your unborn babies'_

_'OH MY GOD!'_ Anah tried to surpress the rest of her minds crazy banter but her fear had gotten the better of her. She quickly reached for the nearest object to her to use as a weapon, in her case, a wooden spoon. 'Great...I can spoon them to death...that's just peachy.' She rolled her eyes, getting closer to her distination, two sets of large hairy feet coming into veiw from under the door.

Slowly, she brought herself to grab the handle of the door, pulling it open fully. her eyes staring down at two very small figures.

"WHAT THE HELL?" She didn't seem to realized she had screamed her response until the two small figures were staring up at her.

"OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD" That was the only thing she could muster to yell at a time like this.

"AAAAHHHH!" The two figures followed with a scream of their own.

In the matter of minutes her friends had swarmed into the kitchen to find out what all the fuse was about. They were shocked to find the presance of two small stranges standing in their refrigator next to a stunned Anah.

"Oh my GOD...what...in...the hell is going on here?" Ayumi looked tramatized, flopping into the nearest seat.

"Who in the hell…" Maria couldn't even begin to finish her statment, the shock was just too much.

"...are you...and why in all things Brad Pitt...are you in our kitchen?" Akira finished, being a little more upset at the intrusion than shocked at the sudden appearance.

"How the hell did you even get in this place?" Nicole asked more out of shock than the needing to know. This place was under top survaillance, only an idiot or an extremely talented thief would try to get passed it.

"Well, we don't really know exactly how we got here but we were extremely hungry so my companion and I went in search for food and that's how we ended up in here." One figure answered.

"Um, I'm Pippin and this is my friend Merry." Pippin replied while pointing a fingure to his friend Merry.

"Merry? Who and the hell would name their child Merry? What were you extra chipper when you were born, smiling instead of crying?" Maria asked, crossing her arms and raising a brow.

"Do you have to be so rude?" Ayumi asked.

"Well I'm sorry...I diidn't think I had to show any common curtisy as to seeing that they are on private property with out my, or any of ours for that matter, consent."

"She has a point there." Akira took a seat next to Nicole.

"Hmm...so Merry and Pippin...hmm" Nicole asked, studying the two small men. "Those names sound kind of familiar...now where have I heard them before? It couldn't possibly be that I know any of you, seeing that your clothing doesn't seem to imply that you are even from here."

"What are you saying that they traveled through time or something?" Akira glared at her friend, wondering if she had possibly joined Anah in the crazy department.

"Well, she might have a point, I mean look at them, do they look like they're from here, I mean when was the last time you seen people like this with barefooted, hairy feet, and pointy ears?" Maria informed, never taking an eye off of the two strangers.

"They're both right, this isn't normal." Ayumi replied.

"Can we forget about who they are and how they got here for a second and discuss what the hell is wrong with their feet." Anah said, staring down at their big hairy feet.

"What's wrong with our feet?" Pippin asked sadly.

"I have you know that our entire race has hairy feet." Merry replied in defense.

"Okay, you guys have lost one-third of your cuteness factor." Ayumi stated, squinting her face in disgust.

" Is your race just as short as the two of you?" Nicole added, ignoring Ayumi and her always factoring things into catogories of cuteness.

"I'll have you know that we are the tallest of our race." Merry recoiled, even more defensive then before.

"Wow! You must be really proud of that." Akira sarcastically stated.

"Okay...not to be a bitch or anything, but I just want to know they ended up here...in my house...in my frig...trying to eat up...my food." Maria waited patiently for a response.

"We honestly don't know, we were walking around the Shire one minute and here the next..." Pippin answered.

"The...Shire? Where is this...Shire?" Anah asked.

"The Shire is in Middle-Earth, of course..." Merry began to smile.

"Middle...Earth...there's no such thing as Middle-Earth...it's a imagined world in fiction novels." Maria replied, this was not adding up right in her mind, it was too unethical.

"Middle-Earth is real...I'll have you know...it's our home..." Pippin replied, offended by Maria's comment.

"Made up world in a novel? What novels are these?" Nicole asked, trying to make her own since of the matter.

"You know...those novels written by J.R.R. Tolkien...weren't you guys forced to write a paper on one of those books in middle school as well?" Akira looked from one girl to the next.

"I never read the books...just asked my mother about the whole thing..it's the only reason that Middle-Earth rang any bells." Maria relpied, combing her fingures through her damped hair.

"OH My Gid...that's it." Nicole seemed happy to finally put together something.

"What?" Everyone replied in unison.

"Their names...their world...I remember now...I mean they did make a huge motion picture about it...three to be exact." Nicole seemed very proud of herself.

"What a motion...picture?" Merry and Pippin looked confused.

"Nevermind that now, but this is amazing." Anah stated. "This has to be a dream, something like this doesn't happen in real life...does it?"

"Apparently so...well..I guess we have no choice but to let yo two stay here until everything gets figured out." Maria replied, rising from her seat.

"I guess I can be a good hostess and show you two to a room." Akira began moving towards the door.

"That is really kind of you all but do you think we could eat first?" Merry asked innocently.

"Yes! We are really hungry." Pippin added, staring at the girls sadly

"It wouldn't hurt..." Anah turned towards the refrigerator. "What do you guys have in mind?"

"Anything and everything you have in that cold box to eat." Pippin answered.

"You sure about that shorty? There's a lot of food in there, more than two people as small as you can handle." Ayumi stated.

"Then we'll take some of each, please!" Merry smiled.

"You two aren't going to eat all of that." Nicole looked at them doubtfully.

"Apparently you have never been in the presence of hobbits before." Merry responded.

"Apparently not..." Mumbled Akira, pulling out an assorted veritiy of foods.

"Well, since we'll be here for a while, it seems, would it be too much to ask of our hostesses names?" Pippin stared at the five girls dreamily.

"Well, luv...I'm Akiera." She gave them a little wink.

"I'm Anah!" Anah grined

"I'm Ana Maria but you can call me either Ana or Maria for short…..could...could you stop staring at me like that!" Seemingly uncomfortable under their gaze, especially since her clothes still clinged to her from the rain.

"I'm…Nicole." She also felt uncomfortable with the way the two hobbits were staring at her, like she was a piece of meat just waiting to be eatten.

"And I'm…for god sakes! Could you please put your tongue back in your mouth (Pippin does as is told)…anyway, I'm Ayumi."

The hobbits were finally feed, shocking most by their unlimited intake of food. Maria groaned about the two for them costing her a fortune in groceries once they were escort to an empty room by Akira. Soon the excitment of the night had caught up to the girls and they all went their seperate ways for the night. Unfortunately, the night was still young and more unwanted excitment awaited them.


	3. The Intruders

**So far I only rewritten 3 of the 11 chapters that I have and at this rate I won't be able to rewrite any more until this weekend..not unless something happens and my exams get moved to another week...lol...well hope you all like the rewritten chapters...and don't forget to review...

* * *

Chapter 3: The Intruders**

Maria felt substantially better after her shower, who knew that the one day she choose to relax would be a day full nothing but odd events. Sighing, she stepped out of her soothing shower, wrapping herself in a near by towel. She took her time wiping the steam from her bathroom mirror, taking a moment to stare at her reflection before grabbing another towel to dry her hair.

"My life is crazier than my job...go figure.." Turning away from her mirror she made for her bedroom, coming face to face with the tip of an arrow.

"Make any sudden movement and it will be your last." The voice ordered. Maria dropped the towel she was holding, rising her hands in the air in submission.

The sudden attack had caught her off guard, her nerves doing back flips. She was so nervous that she didn't even bother to pick up the towel that was wrapped around her when it fell. The unexpected occurrence had even threw the intruder off, eyes widen in shock.

"Why...why are you just standing there...Cover yourself." The intruder tried to keep their composure, trying to sound disgusted. Maria quickly realized her nudity, blushing as she wrapped the towel back around her.

"Well...you did say not to make any sudden movement...I was just following orders." Maria hissed, weapon or not, these intrusions were dancing on her last nerve, death seemed like a dreamy release. "So...are you going to rob me or something..."

"I did not give you permission to talk." The intruder recoiled. "Now, who are you and what have you done with my two young companions? SPEAK! If you value your life." The intruder demanded, ignoring her question entirely.

"What are you going to do? Poke me with that arrow??"

"Just answer the questions."

"Look pretty boy..I'm not in the mood for this...okay...and if you _most_ know...this is _my_ place...and I know nothing of your so called..._companions_...all I know is that I'm tired...and of have two little guys barged into my place unexpected and now...now I'm being held at arrow point by a guy that looks like he spends entirely too much damn time in the fucking mirror..."

The man pulled back on his bow, ready to kill this girl. "Look...I don't have time for this...I just want to find my comrades and try to find a way back to a place that remotely looks like my home...and in the mood I'm in...I have no problem killing you here and now...now if you please..."

"Wait...you're lost...just like that Merry and Pip..."

"Merry and Pippin...where are they..." He tightened his grip on his bow.

"Oh...so you're with them...are you...well their in a room on the second floor."

"And this is..." He raised an eyebrow.

"The third floor...

"Very well. Take me there." He demanded, leading her roughly towards the door.

"You mean you want me to walk around like this?" She asked, looking down at the towel wrapped around her.

"Yes." He hissed, practically throwing her out of the door. She stumbled out into the hallway, nearly dropping her towel again.

The halls were quiet with the exception of the intruder whispering something to him self in some unknown, exotic language. Either way Maria knew it was something about her and it wasn't anything nice. She quietly made her way down the stairs, turning a corner and walking a few feet before stopping in front of one door.

"Well, this is it." She moved out of the way to allow the stranger to enter.

"Go in." The intruder ordered aiming his bow at her once more.

"What?"

"Insurance that this isn't any sort of trap on your part." Maria sighed, turning the nob and entering into the dark room. Slowly she felt around for the light switch, the darkness suddenly filled with blindingly bright light. The light revealed the small sleeping forms in the large bed. Cautiously, her attacker moved towards the bed, lightly shaking the two men causing them to stir.

Slowly the two hobbits awoke, sadden that they were taken away from their peaceful sleep. Pippin rubbed his eyes, oddly noticing Maria standing at the foot of their bed, looking a bit tense.

" Ms. Maria...whats..." He took his time following her gaze, his finally locking on the other figure in the room finally seeing why the girl was so tense in the first place."Why are you pointing your bow at her? There's no need for that."

"Pip's right...she and her friends have been nothing but kind and generous to us." Merry went on to say.

"You mean she's not keeping you prisoner here? Wait..there are others?" The intruder looked back and forth from one hobbit to the other, occasionally looking in Maria's direction.

"No, why would you think that?" Pippin looked a bit confused.

"And yes there are four others. They even offered to help us get back home and they fed us very well." Merry smiled, rubbing his still full stomach.

The stranger lowered his weapon, making his way over to the girl. "I am sorry for the way I have acted. Forgive me." He bowed before her, giving her an apologetic smile.

"Um…sure...I guess..." Maria blushed a little, he did have quite an alluring smile. "Um...may...may I asked your name?"

"Ah, forgive me yet again. I am Legolas Greenleaf, Elven Prince of Mirkwood." He gave her another bow.

"Legolas? Elven? Prince? So I take it you're from this Middle-Earth place as well?"

"Well...yes." Legolas looked at the girl questionably.

"So, do you know how you and your friends got here?"

"No."

"Figured as much. Well, I guess you will be staying here too...so...I guess I'll show you to a room" Maria made for the door, followed by the elf.

"Maria!" Pippin said shocked.

"What?"

"You're…you're…you're not wearing any clothes." Merry wiped the drool from his face, while Pippin just sat there with that same dreamy look he had on his face earlier.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT YOU PERVERTS!" She rushed out of the room followed by the elf, who apologized profusely for not allowing her to dress.

Akiera woke to the sound of screaming. _'This night just can't get any better.' _Slowly, Akiera pulled back her covers, reluctant to get out of bed to check the noise out. Making for the door, she was stopped by the feel of cold steel pressed against her throat.

"If I were you I wouldn't make any sudden movements" A male voice demanded. Akiera's breathing becoming rigid as the warmth of his breath caressed her neck.

"Who the hell are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room?" Akiera didn't bother hiding the annoyance in her voice.

"I don't think you're in the position to give orders." The man pressed his sword closer to her throat. "Or ask questions for that matter."

"And neither are you." With one swift movement she had her attacker on his back, pressing the sword in her hands to his throat. "Now as I was saying. Who the hell are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room?"

"Do you think just because you hold a sword to my throat that I will easily give in to you and answer your questions?" The man hissed .

"Well, apparently you thought that it would work with me and since you won't answer my question I guess I have to find something to do with you." Akiera smiled evilly at her attacker, a plan forming quickly in her mind.

Ayumi had slept peacefully, the nights events never crossing her mind. She stretched before opening her eyes to the morning rays, only to find a pair of eye staring down at her.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ayumi fumbled out of bed, backing into a corner of her room. "Take whatever you want...it's...it's all yours..just don't kill me...?" Her hands cautiously felt for the bat behind her, never once breaking eye contact with the man in front of her.

"I am sorry...I'm not going to hurt or rob you..." He took a step towards the girl. "...I was looking for the rest of my companions when I came across your room...I saw you lying there sleeping so peacefully...you looked so beautiful and angelic that I could not find the strength to walk out." The strange man seemed to be having mixed emotions of quilt and joy.

"That was really...no...this is...this is crazy." Ayumi seemed lost in confusion.

"I am Faramir...by the way. I don't know how I exactly got here. One minute I was talking to the wizard, Gandalf, and then the next I was here." Faramir explained, trying to make sense of the matter himself.

"So you're just like those two hobbits that we found in our kitchen last night."

"You mean you found more?"

"Yeah...wait...what do you mean by more??"

"Well I was brought here with two other companions of mine and we believe that others might have been brought here as well."

"You mean there are others walking around this place...besides you and the two hobbits?"

"Yes...I believe so." Faramir reached out an hand to help the girl to her feet.

Ayumi tried to keep her balance, this was just too mch to take in. Slowly she opened her mouth to speak only to be interruppted by the entrance of Anah and Nicole, along with two strangers.

"We heard you screaming…who's he?" Anah stared at a very alart Faramir.

"Who are they?" Sonia gazed over the two men standing behind the girls, raising an eyebrow to the site of Anah and one of the strangers in nothing but a towel. _'Every interesting.'_

"Um, long story but this is Elladan." Nicole pointed to the tall, beautiful man next to her with long black hair and mesmerizing gray eyes who stood there in a towel.

"And this is Glorfindel." Anah pointed to the other tall and as equally gorgeous man, with the exception of his hair being blond and his eyes blue.

"Um, well, this is Faramir and I'm guessing these are a fw of the lost souls in this hidden in this place."

"WHAT?" Nicole was caught off guard by the news of the possiblitiy of more strangers.

"You mean our place might be full of these people?" Anah eyed the men around her. "Well...I guess that wouldn't be a bad thing.." A sheepish grin played at her lips, this had to be what heaven was like.

"Um...yeah."

"I think it's time that we had a meeting to discuss this matter." Nicole looked from one person to the next.

"Yeah...but first...a shower." Ayumi waited for them all to get the hint.

"Yeah...I need clothes..." Anah mumbled, making towards her own room.

"I guess I'll go and grab me some breakfast." Nicole made her way out the door, stopping to stared at the three men that were still in the room. "Um, you guys?" Embarrassed, the three men followed behind the girl towards the kitchen.


	4. Unexpected Meetings

**Chapter 4: Unexpected Meetings **

Anah felt refreshed by her shower, it was the best thing to starting her day off right. She began to dry her hair, making for her bedroom. She stopped at the sudden sound of movement on the other side of the door. Slowly and with caution, she opened the door finding and extremely tall and attractive male on the other side.

"What. the. hell...am I dreaming..." Anah mumbled, studying the man before his gaze caught her's. He had to be at least 6'4' with long silky blonde hair and a beautiful lean, yet lean figure that was to die for. Slowly the man pulled out his sword, pressing the tip to her throat clamly.

"Who are you and what have you done with the rest of my companions?" The man replied with the same clamness, hints of autority sipping through..

"My name is….um….um….ANAH…yeah…my name is Anah." Even with the sword to her throat she had managed to get lost in his gaze, momentarily forgetting everything as she did.

"…and my companions?" The man asked.

"Huh? Um…companions? ...OH…you mean the…um…um…hobbits?" The girl tried to keep herself focused and away from his gaze. _'God his eyes are driving me crazy to the point that I can't think straight. I bet he thinks I'm some kind of bubblehead idiot.' _Ana combed her fingers through her wet and tangled hair.

"Hobbits? The hobbits are here?"

"Um…yeah…they're fine they're sleep in another room." Relief swiped over her as he took his sword from her throat, placing it back in it rightful place.

"I'm sorry if I have frightened you. Forgive me...I am Glorfindel." The man replied, extending his hand out to greet the girl.

"It is nice to meet you Glorfindel." Anah placed her hand in his. She blushed as he brought her hand up to his mouth, placing a soft and tender kiss on the back of it, goose bumps slowly form on the spot his lips had just caressed. Before she could recover the sound of screaming came from the direction of Ayumi's room causing the both of them to bolt out of the room.

Nicole sat at her desk putting the finishing touches on the web page she was paid to design for a some company. It was something she had always wanted to do since high school and she seemed to have a nack at it. She had graduated the top of her class far earlier than anyone else in her field had ever thought to graduate.

Her whole time at college was more of a job than an educational experience to her. It seemed like she knew far more than the teacher and would end up literally teaching the class. They had even offered her a job as a professor as soon she had finished and got her masters.

Though she was honored and flattered by the offer she declined and quickly went out into the world to start her own business. Yet, if it wasn't for her friend Maria coming into a shit load of money and investing in her, she wouldn't have had the expenses needed to get her business off the ground as quickly as she wanted.

A smile slowly spread across her face before shutting down her laptop and stretching Slowly she rose from her desk, stopping half way at the sound of her shower being run in her bathroom.

"Who in the world..." Nicole mumbled, making her way towards her bathroom.

Reaching for the knob she slowly turned it, trying hard not to make a sound. Taking a long sigh she cautiously pushed the door open. Turing to stare into her shower she noticed the form of a very tall and very naked man.

"OMG...What the hell…." Before anything was allowed time to register the shower door slid open to revile a very wet and very gorgeous man standing there in all his glory. She stood there in shock, staring at this 6'4' man with beautiful long silk raven black hair and a set of amazing gray eyes.

"Oh…my...GOD!" Nicole finally reacted. The man stared at her blankly not sure of what to do in such a situation.

"Um…um…wha…what are y…you doing in my shower? How did you get in here?" Nicole turned away, sneaking a peek at his '**_entire'_** package before hand. _'Hmm Nice!'_ She grinned at the wall she was now facing.

"I am sorry milady. I was looking for my lost companions…"

"What you thought you'd find them in my shower?" Nicole said jokingly.

"No…Somehow I ran across this room and I began to observe the things in it when I came across this thing…the shower as you call it. When I noticed that water came from it I assumed that it was used to wash ones self. I realized that I had not had a proper bathing in some time so I decided to clean my self."

"Well! I'm guessing you are friends with the two hobbits we found last night so it's okay but can you do me a favor?"

"I suppose."

"Um…can you wrap a towel around you or at least put your clothes back on."

"Yes, sure." He quickly grabbed a near by towel, wrapping it quickly around his waist. "Is this better?" The man asked, allowing Nicole to finally turn around.

"Yes! Much." Nicole grinning slightly. "Um…I'm Nicole by the way." She extended her hand to him.

"I am Elladan." He took her hand, placing a soft kiss on the back of it. Before she could react, the sound of Ayumi screaming caused her and the half naked Elladan to go find out what happened.


	5. The finding and the introductions

**Chapter 5: The finding and the introductions **

Maria had been woken up by Anah being informed of the news that three more had been found, which in turn, she told Anah about Legolas. Soon after she had showered and dressed and was now making her way towards Akiera's room to wake her.

"Hey, Akiera we need…you…down…stairs…WHAT THE HELL?" Ana Maria shockingly stared at the scene in Akiera's room causing Akiera to nearly fall out of bed as she bolted awake.

"What? What is it?" Akiera looked around nervously.

"Um…Akiera? What is that man doing tied up to a chair and gagged? What is he even doing in your room?" Maria scratched her head in confusion.

"Well...I heard you scream something and when I got up to go check it out that guy over there put a knife or sword or something to my throat. So...I disarmed him but I was too tired to call you guys so I just hand cuffed him to the chair and gagged him." Akiera looked at her friend as if to say _'it wasn't a big deal and it happens all the time.'_

"Um…Okay? So...do you know who he is? …...What the hell are you doing with handcuffs?"

"I don't know he wouldn't tell me but I think he came with the hobbits and never mind the handcuffs."

"Um…okay!… (staring at her friend weirdly) Well there's only one way to find out who he is. Take the gag off of his mouth."

"Why?"

"So we can get some information out of him."

"It won't work." Akiera made her way over to the man, taking off the gag.

"It doesn't hurt to try."

"If you have hurt a single hair on those hobbits I will kill you." The man hissed before the gag was replaced.

"Um…yeah…Merry and Pippin are fine. Why do people keep thinking we are holding them hostage?" Maria stared at her friend.

"What do you mean people keep thinking we're holding them hostage? Who else knows they're here except you, me, Ayumi, Anah and Nicole?"

"Oh…yeah...this guy...Lego...something...attacked me after my shower...thought I was keeping the little pervs hostage...but he soon found out otherwise."

"...and you screamed...why?"

"Well the bastard wouldn't let me dress so the hobbits droole dover me in a towel...I got pissed...yelled...and left..."

"...okay...that's just one person."

"Oh…yeah um Ayumi, Nicole, and Anah were attacked this morning…well Nicole was. One guy just watched Ayumi sleep while the other guy was in Nicole's shower."

"Um…yeah…that one guy seems kind of creepy….well was that one guy..you know..."

"...You know...what?"

Akiera rolled her eyes. "...was the guy well…packaged?"

"Akiera!"

"Okay…okay…don't tell me...so we found four more including this guy and Merry and Pippin which makes seven."

"Yeah, anyway we are supposed to have a meeting down stairs so I guess you should untie him and get ready." Maria made for the door.

"Aw, do I have to?" Akiera said sarcastically, taking off the gag and cuffs after snatching the keys from under her pillow.

"Funny! Down stairs. One hour." Ana Maria replied before leaving.

"So you are not the enemy or a threat to me and my companions?" The man asked, rubbing his sore, now free wrists.

"Yeah, me and my friends are just five people who are trying to find out how and why you all are in our house." She answered, grabbing a blue halter top and a denim mini skirt out of her drawer before making for the bathroom.

"I am sorry for my actions last night, forgive me." The man bowed politely before her.

"Don't sweat it. I'm sure I would have done the same thing if I was in your situation." She gave him a small smile before closing the bathroom door.

Soon everyone was gathered in the living room discussing the matter at hand. Akiera sat on the cough with her legs folded under her, Ana Maria sat next to her with her legs to her chest (occasionally glancing at one of the guys), Anah sat on the floor with her legs folded, Indian style (fidgeted with strands of her hair), Aymi reclined in one of the lazy boys. Whereas Nicole sat on the floor across from Anah with her legs folded and her head resting in the palm of her hands, Merry and Pippin also sat on the floor next to each other (occasionally whispering something to each other that went unheard and unseen by everyone except for the elf, Legolas and his companions Glorfindel and Elladan), Legolas, Faramir, Glorfindel, Elladan, and the man that was found and Akiera's room all stood.

"So you're telling me that PEOPLE ARE STILL IN MY DAMN MANSION SOMEWHERE? So, all together I have MORE people in my mansion besides the people that leave here with me or that are in this room." Maria tried to hold back the rest of her anger that was building in side her more and more by the minute.

"Um…Maria? I'M SEATING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU SO STOP YELLING." Akiera rubbed her ears in annoyance.

"Will you to stop yelling at each other. Those three guys over there look like their in pain." Ayumi glanced in the direction of Legolas, Glorfindel, and Elladan, all seming to have gringed at Maria and Akiera's yelling.

"Dude! Are you guys okay?" Anah looked at them worried.

"We're fine! It's just that our ears are very sensitive to noise." Glorfindel continued to rub his ears.

"Speak for yourself, my ears are still ringing." Elladan frowned.

"Are you sure my ears aren't bleeding? I swear it feels like my ear drums have been busted or someone stabbed me in each ear with an arrow." Legolas examined his ears with his fingers.

"You know what? I'm really starting to dislike elves." Maria glared at Legolas.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about but I'm starting not to like those three guys over there." Akiera gave each of them a death glare.

"Can we get back to the topic at hand here?" Ayumi started getting annoyed with all of them.

"Ayumi's right. One, we need to find the other five. Second, we need to figure out how they got here and how are we getting them back to where ever they came from." Nicole stated.

"Yeah! Who cares about you guys feelings being hurt right now. We have more important things to worry about." Anah added, causing her to receive evil glares from both of her friends. "Anyway, we should break up into groups of four which means every group gets its own wing to search."

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold on for one mothafuckin' second. I would like to know who these people are before I get sent off with one or two of them to find their, _so called_, lost friends." Akiera stated.

"She has a point." Ayumi sat up in the recliner.

"Well, we already know Merry and Pippin so they don't have to introduce themselves again. So let's start with you, Blondie." Anah said pointing to Legolas.

"Forgive me for not mentioning it before. I am Legolas Greenleaf. Prince of…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…next." Akiera said cutting him off.

"Wait one fucking second. I want to know what he's a prince of... Now stop being such a bitch" Ayumi replied angrily.

"Don't you two start. He's Prince of some place in his world called Mirkwood." Ana Maria sounded frustrated and annoyed.

"How do you know that?" Nicole asked.

"Well somewhere after being attacked and held hostage he told me all of this including the thing about him being an elf." Ana Maria answered boringly as if it was routine.

"Elf!" Ayumi said shocked.

"He can't be an elf. Elves are short, cute, little chubby guys that work up at the north pole and help Santa make and wrap presents for all the good little girls and boys." Anah stated.

Everyone glared at the girl.

"Anah what the hell is wrong with you? Have you been in my secret stash again?" Maria eyed her evilly.

"No! What are you talking about?"

"Yeah! What secret stash?" Akiera asked.

"What? What are you talking about? There's no secret stash." Ana Maria answered. .

Everyone turned to glare at Maria.

"Anyway, on with the names." Ayumi ignored her two deranged friends.

"I am Elladan Elven Prince of Imladris or Rivendell as most call it."

"I am Glorfindel."

"So you're the only elf that's not a Prince?" Ana Maria asked.

"Yes!"

"That sucks….OUCH! WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIT ME?" Maria rubbed her newly sore head.

"Because your being a bitch right now." Akiera answered.

"And you weren't being one just a minute ago?" Ana Maria recoiled.

"WILL YOU TWO BITCHES SHUT THE HELL UP SO WE CAN FIND OUT THE

REST OF THEIR NAMES?" Ayumi screamed.

Everyone stared freaked at Ayumi while the elves tried to recover from the pain of it all.

"Oh, sorry! I forgot about the whole ears thing."

"Um………Okay!..." The elves answered in unison.

"Continue!" Ayumi was beginning to get annoyed with how everyone was staring at her.

"Um…I'm Faramir son of the steward of Gondor…"

"What the hell is a steward?" Nicole asked looking confused.

"A steward is nothing more then a substitute king which means he's a substitute prince."

Maria stated in a bored manner.

"GOD! Could you stop being a bitch for one second." Akiera hissed at Maria.

"WHAT? I was answering her question." Ana Maria replied.

"You're still acting like a bitch." Akiera stated.

"Well, I'll stop acting like a bitch if you stop first."

"Deal!" The two shock hands and turned their attention back to the other people in the room.

Every just stared at them oddly.

"What?" The two responded.

"Anyway, continue." Anah turned her attention away from her two crazy and deranged friends towards the man that was being, somewhat, held captive by Akiera earlier that day.

"I am Aragorn son of Arathorn and the heir to the throne of Gondor."

"Must…hold…back…bitchiness….must…think…happy…thoughts…really hot guy naked holding a bottle of chocolate syrup." Ana Maria started to mumble to herself incoherent things that nobody could understand, except for the three elves, before drifting off into a fantasy world.

"Is that even possible?" Legolas asked one of the elves next to him.

"I don't think I want to know." Glorfindel responded.

"…now that just sounds painful." Elladan replied after overhearing Maria's babble. "No...now that sound interesting..."

"I most remember that one..." Legolas tried to memorize what he had heard.

Everyone blinked before turning back to each other.

"What the hell was that about?" Nicole asked.

"I...I...I don't...don't know." Ayumi replied.

"I think she's finally snapped." Anah stated. "Lord knows it was coming..." She mumbled to herself.

"HA! I WIN!" Akiera said happily.

Everyone looked lost again.

"They all have lost their minds." Aymi stated, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Um… can we get on with the whole introduction thing here?" Nicole asked.

"Oh, yeah, right! Um…I'm Akiera." Akiera stared flirtatiously at Elladan.

"Yo, what's up? I'm Anah."

The seven men look up at the ceiling and then back at her.

"I believe the sky is up." Pippin stats as the other six nod their heads in agreement.

The Girls with the exception of Ana Maria who was still in her own little world looked at the men in confusion.

"It's...it's a figure of speech." Nicole stated.

"Yeah, it means how are you or what have you been up to." Ayumi added.

"Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Anyway, I'm Ayumi."

"Hey! I'm Nicole."

"Then the naked man makes me some chocolate milk and then…." Maria mumbled incoherently.

Everyone glares hopelessly at the insane girl before them.

"Um, Maria!" Akiera tapped her friend, still in her trance. Getting annoyed with not getting a responce she her smacked her up side her head.

"OUCH! …WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Maria rubbed her, yet again, sore head.

"WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE INTRODUCING OURSELVES AND YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE MOTHAFUCKIN' PROCESS." Akiera folded her arms across her chest.

"There goes the ringing again." Elladan said as he rubbed his ears.

"Are you sure their not bleeding now?" Legolas asked Aragorn, examining them with his fingers again.

"THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" Glorfindel cupped his ears in pain.

"You're such a bitch." Maria hissed at Akiera, ignoring the three elves that were in pain. "Oh, yeah! Sorry!" She mumbled.

"So are you." Akiera replied.

"Eh! Anyway, I'm Ana Maria but as I told the two little perverts over there you can call me either Ana or Maria. Honestly I don't care." She twirled a few strands of hair around her finger.

"I shall call you squashy and you shall be mine." Akiera blurted out.

"What the hell?" Ayumi looked at Akiera like she was retarded.

"She's been watching that damn movie to damn much." Nicole stated

"HEY! We're not perverts." Pippin said defensively, finally catching on.

"Um…yeah you are." Maria glared at the hobbit.

"No we're not." Pippin recoiled.

"Um…hello! You two weren't staring at me last night when I was wet? Oh, and when I was dragged to your room at arrow point (evil glare at Legolas) in nothing but a towel. You two weren't drooling all over the place?"

"Honestly we were staring at your br-"

"MERRY!" Aragorn scolded.

"Yeah and we could see your nip-"

"PIPPIN!" Legolas scolded.

"WHAT! We could." Pippin stated.

"See! I told you...they're perverts." Maria folded her arms victoriously.

"Point taken. Will you be wearing that shirt again anytime soon?" Merry added.

Everyone glared at the hobbit.

"Okay….back to the point at hand. We need to split everyone up into four groups of three." Ayumi cut in, tired of hearing them all go on about nonsense and stuff that had nothing to do with looking for the people that were lost somewhere in this big house.

"I vote that me, Merry, and Maria go search together." Pippin said with a big grin on his face.

"Yeah! Or just me and Maria." Merry replied with a Kool-Aid smile.

"How about…not!" Maria looked at the two in disgust.

"I think that we should all write our names down on a piece of paper and one of us (meaning one of the five girls) pulls three names from a hat and organize them into groups of four or something." Nicole implied.

"That sounds fair." Ayumi agreed as Nicole got up to get some paper and things to write with then passed it out to each person in the room.

The girls each wrote their names on a small sheet of paper then folded it up, placing them in the hat that Nicole had grabbed. They soon realized that none of the men had written down their names.

They were to busy staring at the pencil or pen they held in their hands.

"Why haven't you guys written your names on the papers yet?" Anah asked, looking at them confused.

"May I inquire where the ink to dip the pens in is?" Aragorn looked from one girl to the next.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Ayumi said looked at the guys in disbelief.

"Um…the ink is already in the pens." Nicole stated.

"Oh!" Aragorn replied still sounding somewhat confused.

"How in the world did the ink get in the pens?" Legolas continued to eye his pen confusingly.

"Well gorgeous, that's a story for another time. Maybe we could meet up in my room later and…"

"Akiera! This is not the time or place to be trying to get laid." Ayumi scolded.

"Hey! I was just trying to get to him before Maria here decides to kidnap him and have her way with him." Akiera pointed to Maria then went back to looking at Legolas.

"I resent that remark." Maria practically hissed at Akiera. "I don't sleep with people that tried to off me in a towel."

"What about-"

"Shut up!"

"Please don't let me end up with one of them." Legolas mumble to himself, writting down his name while receiving a humorous grin from the two elves that stood by him.

Soon all of them had their names folded up in the hat that lay of the table. They had all decided to choose one person, Anah, to draw names out of the hat and to put the folded papers into four separate groups. The papers were then unfolded to reveal who was in what group.

The first group consisted of Ayumi, Faramir, and Anah, who were to search the second floor. The second group consisted of Ana Maria, Legolas, and Pippin, who were to search the third floor. The third was Nicole, Elladan, and Glorfindel, who were to search the fourth floor. The last group was made up of Akiera, Merry, and Aragorn who were to search the unlooked parts of the estate.


	6. Search and Rescue

**Chapter 6:** **Search and Rescue **

"Great! Leave it to me to get stuck with the odd couple. Either I'll get poked with a stick or poked in the leg by a horny hobbit." Maria mumbled, making her way up the steps to the second floor.

"I apologized for my actions along time ago and I do not like this situation anymore than you." Legolas replied, making his way passed the frustrated girl.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Ana Maria began power walking to keep up with the elf's long strides.

"Well, it's obvious you don't want to be bothered with me so I'll just search for my friends on my own." He continued walking, never once bothering to turn his gaze on the girl.

"You're just going to leave me here with the hobbit?" She asked, not bothering to keep up with him anymore. A cocky grin played on her lips as she watched him turn around and walk back towards them. In her mind she had won this fight.

"No! Pippin's coming with me." With that Legolas and Pippin started to walk off.

"So, you're just…going…to…leave…me?" She sound dejected at the possibility that he would leave her to fend for herself at a time like this. That even the hobbit got chosen over her. Legolas turned on his heels, his eyes fixed on hers. His frustration of her and the situation were evident on his features.

"If I have to here you complain the whole time about being stuck with us, then yes I am leaving you all by yourself." His tone sent a shiver up the girl's spine.

"Wha-what if one of your so called friends tries to kill me?"

"I'd give him a gold medal for ridding me of your presents. All in all, your problem…not mine." Legolas began walking off with Pippin in toe as Maria nursed her hurt feelings.

"I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry!" She yelled after their visioning figures in the distance. "I'll be damned if they think they're leaving me behind. Sensitive bastard…" Mumbling as ran off to catch up with them.

"I HEARD THAT."

"Damn it…I really do hate elves…hot or not."

"Heard that as well."

"Fuck."

Akiera slowly made her way towards the attic, followed closely behind by the ranger Aragon and the hobbit Merry. The latter she wasn't so happy about having in her company, he spent more time drooling than he did searching. She cringed at the sudden feel of a small hand caressing her leg. She smacked away his hand for the thirtieth time, ready to spill a thousand insults his way when the unexpected sound of something falling and breaking vibrated from the other side of the attic door.

She took a deep breath as she reached for the attic's door knob, saying a silent prayer to any existing higher power that she made it through this day alive and unharmed. She nearly jumped at the sudden feel of another hand over her on, she followed the hand all the way to its owners eyes. Aragon eyes were full of concern, even though a small smile played at his lips.

"I think it's best if I go in first." His smiled died, slowly removing his hand from hers.

"Why is that?" Akiera asked staring at him coldly, her expression reading _'you don't think I can handle my self?' _

"They have never seen you and would think you were the enemy. Though I think you are very capable of handling yourself, you are unarmed and they are."

"You have a point there." Akiera said as she moved out the way and let Aragorn go and handle everything while she and Merry stayed in the hall and waited somewhat patiently for him to return with what they hope was a friend.

"Hey…what a minute…Damn his sexiness…damn it all to hell." Akiera mumble, realizing she was tricked.

Ayumi ran out the room like a bat out of hell, with Anah closely in tow. Their abnormal behavior confusing poor Faramir, who stood dumbfounded as they took shelter behind his tall frame. He looked from the girl behind him to the door, noticing the presence of an axe wielding dwarf. Slowly he removed his sword from its resting place at his side, ready to defend the women at his side if need be.

" He-He's trying to kill us." Ayumi shrieked, tightening her grip on Faramir's shirt. The fiery haired dwarf continued with his attack, stopping only at the sight of the girls' protector. His axe falling to the surface with a loud thud and his body drained of all color.

"Boromir? Is that…but how….but you're…" The Dwarf replied dumbfounded without ever letting his gaze fall from the man that stood before him.

"No…I am not Boromir…he is…he is dead…I am his brother…Faramir." He answered as his gaze slowly fell from the dwarf's.

"Yes I know…I was with him when he…it's just that the two of you resemble…that I mistook you for him." The dwarf replied as his gaze finally fell off of the man in front of him to the floor.

"That is okay but who are you and why did you threaten these maidens so?" Faramir recomposed himself, adding the strength back in his voice.

"Well, young lad…I am Gimili son of Golin and I attacked them because I feared that they were going to kill me or that they worked for Sauron or Sauman." Gimili replied.

"So you took us for one of those boot fugly minions?" Ayumi anger began to rise.

"Oh HELL TO THE NO!" Anah slowly began walking towards the dwarf; Ayumi did as well, taking Faramir's weapon in the process.

"Um…ladies…" Faramir did his best to hold the girls back with no avail.

"You have five seconds to clear this up or the hobbits are going to have a nice dwarf stew for dinner." Ayumi flexed her sword arm before swinging it like a bat just to prove her point.

"Umm…well…you know…I don't really know..."

"Oh…that's not a very good answer…I think you need to do better than that…look her sword finger is getting really itchy." Anah pointed over to her left at Ayumi who seemed to be enjoying the notion that she just might get the chance to cause pain today.

"Um…Ayumi…are you alright? What is that murderous look in your eyes??" Faramir eased slowly away from the intimidating girl.

"Dude…come on…she's not going to let you live all day…we need an answer…"

"Nope…his times up…"

"Wa-wait…Wait a moment…H-How would you feel if you were transported to some unknown place and didn't recognize anything? Then are countered by two strangers to top it off."

"Hmm…point taken." Ayumi placed the tip of the sword to her chin, giving them the impression that she was taking his reply into consideration. "Well…anyway, enough with these games…we have some more searching to do. I would introduce myself but I have a feeling that we're going to be doing a lot of that later and I'll be damned if I have to do it again." Ayumi and Anah bypassed the two men, leaving them in a state of confusion. Ayumi stopped for a second.

"Opps! Almost forgot…hehe…" Ayumi hand Faramir his sword before she skipped won the hall to join back up with Anah.

Nicole felt a little uncomfortable about being in the presence of two very gorgeous elves, partly because Maria and Akiera had given her death glares and made threatening comments when they found out that she would be one in their presence for most of the day…alone. Even so, the fact that she was stuck with the two of them caused a big goofy smile to spread across her face. She shook the smile off her face, trying to focus on the situation at hand.

They were just too distracting for her, how was she supposed to concentrate on finding people when all she could do is daydream about two elves, very naughty elves according to her brain. Another smile danced across her face, drifting back into her fantasy world until her of attention led her to run into one them. Elladan glared at her, confused before turning his attention to a nearby door. Nicole noticed that Glorfindel was doing the exact same thing.

"What…"

"Shh!" Elladan quickly silenced her before disappearing into the room.

She made her way toward the door to enter only to see two small forms, who resembled children, step out of the room followed by Elladan and Glorfindel. She probably would have gotten the two mistaken for Merry and Pippin if it wasn't for the fact that one was little bit chubbier than the two and the other had a darker shade of hair.

"Well look what we have here." Glorfindel replied as he patted the dark haired one on the shoulder. "Fordo and Samwise."

"So I take it that they are friends of yours." She took a second to study the two new figures.

"Elladan…who is this?" Frodo felt a little uncomfortable under the girl's gaze.

"She is one of the occupants of this estate who, along with her friends, have decided to help us find everyone and find a way back home." Elladan replied as he smiled warmly over at the girl.

"Well it sure is nice to know that she's here to help us and not kill us." Sam replied sounding a little relieved about the whole situation.

"Yes…well…we must continue on and look for the rest of our companions." The now larger group continued down the hall in search of anymore of their friends.

"AHHH GET IT OFF! GET OFF! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET THIS DAMN THING OFF OF MY LEG!" Maria screamed as she ran around the room in a circle with some creature wrapped around her leg and Legolas pointing an arrow at her, finding it hard to get a good aim on the thing.

"Precious…give me the…precious…" The creature rambled.

"OH MY GOD! JUST KILL IT…KILL IT AND GET IT OVER WITH"

"IF YOU'LL HOLD STILL…" Legolas started.

"WELL…EXCUSE ME…YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WITH THIS THING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR LEG TALKING ABOUT THEIR PRECIOUS…"

"GIVE IT TO ME…" And with that the thing sunk its teeth into Maria's leg causing her to fall over screaming in pain. Legolas finally had the creature in his grasp and readied his bow.

"STOP!" Frodo screamed from the door way. "Don't kill him." Frodo ran over to where the creature was balled up in a corner of the room and was soon followed by the rest of the individuals that had found him earlier along with Sam.

"Frodo!" Pippin blurted out.

"We need Gollum to show us the way to Mordor." Frodo continued, ignoring the other hobbit. Legolas lowered his bow and shook his head in compliance.

"WHAT THE HELL…that _thing_ attacked me and nearly bit my leg off and you're just going to let it go?" Maria asked angrily. Elladan wrapped her now bleeding leg with a piece of torn cloth that he had ripped off of his tunic. Legolas slowly made his way over to her and lifted her in his arms before making his way towards the door.

"I don't like that foul creature just as much as you but without him my companion can never finish his mission and if he can't our home will be destroyed." Legolas replied, continuing down the hall.

"Well…it doesn't matter now because your all stuck here." Maria responded angrily, freeing her self from his arms, pushing him away before limping down the hall. "I'm going to my damn room….so keep that _thing_ away from me. _It_ better pray that I don't have rabies. Fucking asses." She continued to mumble on and on about the evil and horrific things she would do to it if it ever can near her again.

"Mortals." Legolas continued down the hall in the opposite way of her.

"Hey…watch it." Nicole said sternly, bypassing Legolas and making sure she avoided Gollum along the way.

Akiera and Merry stood outside in the hall for what seemed to be hours. Finally giving in to her impatience, Akiera made her way into the room followed by Merry, who just didn't want to be left alone.

"What the hell?" She was shocked to find half a room full of people.

"Akiera, I am sorry for keeping you and Merry waiting." Aragorn replied cutting short his conversation with a breaded, elderly man dressed in pure white robes.

"Who the hell are all these people?" Akiera asked as she stared at the three people that stood in front of her. "Wait a minute…Elladan…aren't you supposed to be searching with Glorfindel and Nicole?"

"Ahh…I see you have met my brother…"

"Brother? You mean there's two of you?" Akiera replied somewhat shocked at this news. The notion of their being two of them, instead of one caused an evil grin to pull at the corner of her lips.

"Yes, I'm his brother…Elrohir…" He stopped suddenly at noticing the way she stared at him, making him uncomfortable. "Um…Aragorn…make her stop." Aragorn looked at him with confusion, his eyebrow raised.

"What?"

"I don't like the way she's looking at me…are you sure she's honorable?" Elrohir looked from Akiera to Aragorn and then back again. Aragorn turned to stare at Akiera, receiving nothing more than an innocent smile and wink from the girl.

"What do you mean is she honorable? I mean sure she can be very dangerous if provoked…trust me, I know first hand, but she is as honorable as they come (glances at Akiera one more time.) or close to." Elrohir glared at the girl again, receiving a wink before she returned to her evil grin.

"Aragorn…she's doing it again…" Elrohir began slowly and nervously back away from the girl.

"BY THE VALAR…ENOUGH!" A man who resembling Elrohir, with the exception of the odd eyebrows that seemed to have a life of their own and the whole receding hairline thing going on, screamed at the top of his lungs, causing everyone to wince back in pain. He then takes a moment to calm his nerves before talking any further.

"Now…thank you my child for allowing us to spend time at your estate as we try to figure out just how, exactly, did we get here." He smiled warmly down at the girl that stood before him. Akiera stared in _aw_ of the man that stood before her. She never took her eyes off of him except for the occasional blink.

"What the hell is wrong with your eyebrows?" Akiera replied finally, still never turning her gaze away. The man ignored her comment as he continued to talk.

"I am Lord Elrond of Imladris or Rivendell as some know it…Elrohir and Elladan are my sons…"

"I really don't give a rats ass…I just want you to answer my damn question and tell me what the fuck is up with those hedges that you have for eyebrows…damn…it's like they have a life of it's own or something….I mean,"

"AKIERA…that is enough…" Aragorn replied sternly as he began to rub his temples with the tips of his fingers.

"Fuck…what did I do?" Akiera asked angrily as she turned her gaze towards the ranger.

"You're being rude and you're insulting the Elven Lord of Rivendell." He tried his best to hold back his anger but it was written all over his face.

"Then get that fucker some tweezers so he can pluck those things…"

"I have no idea what tweezers are but I will not stand here and let you insult him like so."

"Hey…I'm sorry if I hurt you're lover's feelings…didn't know you felt that way…"

"You will hold your tongue or else…" Aragorn places a hand firmly around the handle of his sword.

"…or else…what? I kick your ass again…" Akiera stared daggers into the man that stood only inches away from her. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face.

"ENOUGH!" The breaded old man draped in white stepped forward to intervene before this argument got way too out of line for anyone to handle. "This isn't going to solve anything. Nor is it getting any of us anywhere except maybe closer to our deaths." He glanced down at Aragorn's hand, which was still tightly wrapped around the hilt of his sword. Aragorn, as if realizing for the first time what was happening, slowly let go of the hilt, his eyes searched around in confusion.

"You are right Gandalf…this isn't helping us at all. I apologize for my actions. I also apologize to you, Lady Akiera, for ever even considering threatening you with a weapon." Aragorn replied, bowing to her.

"Whatever you big…sexy…gorgeous…tempting…um…I…I mean…um…apology accepted and…and…all that stuff…" Akiera laughed nervously, backing away from Aragorn.

Turning, for the first time since she walked in the room, she noticed a young woman sitting in the corner near the window. The whole time they had been there the girl had never once made her presence known nor did she look up at any of them.

"Who's the weird bitch in the corner?" Akiera replied, staring at the girl oddly. Aragorn ignored the girl's last statement, making his way over to the girl and placing a hand on her shoulder, causing her to finally look up and smile at him warmly.

"This is Arwen, Elrond's daughter and the holder of my heart." Aragorn returned the girl's affections with a smile of his on. Akiera wanted to gag at the last comment but shockingly held her self together on the outside.

Arwen turned her gazed towards Akiera before getting up and making her way towards the girl. _'Skinny, tall and perfect bitch.'_ Akiera thought, pretending to be nice and smile at the girl.

"You are Akiera, are you not?" Arwen asked, smiling down softly at the girl in front of her, who nodded in assurance. "Thank you so much for allowing us to stay here." Arwen brought the girl into a hug. Her actions throwing Akiera off completely and making her want to gag even more. "If you come near Aragorn or try to make a move on him I will make you pay." Arwen whispered into her ear before backing away and intertwining arms with Aragorn, smiling victoriously at the girl.

Akiera opened her mouth to reply but thought otherwise. She had thought of a better way to shut the girl down and make everyone see her for the evil hag she was. Akiera met the girl with a devious glare of her own as she watched the girl toss back her raven black, long and wavy hair and leave out of the room with the ranger followed by Gandalf and Elrond.

"I would give up now."

"Excuse me?" Akiera turned to face Elrohir.

"My sister is very vindictive and _will_ win at any cost. It's all ada's fault, you know, he spoiled her rotten." Elrohir shock his head in disappointment.

"What the hell is an ada?" Akiera looked up at him with a confused expression.

" Ada is elvish for father."

"Oh…what makes you think that I'm plotting something against you're sister?"

"That look you were giving her."

"No…I was actually plotting a way to get you into bed."

"What do you mean by _in bed_?" Elrohir looked down at the girl as he started to feel that nervous feeling come back.

"Think about it." She gave him a seductive smile and a wink before heading towards her room.

"Oh…by the valar." He turned three different shades of red as he followed behind the girl cautiously.


	7. Gathered Together

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it...don't want to own it...these guys' are a hand full...geeze...

* * *

Ana Maria finally made it to her room, limp and all. She went to her bathroom to inspect the horrible bite on her right leg. Wobbling to the toilet she put her seat down and placed her leg on it to examine the battle scares. 

"I can't believe that they didn't kill that fucking little creature." Maria mumbled as she struggled to reach a bottle of Peroxide on the top shelf of the medicine cabinet. "Fuck!" she groaned when her hand accidentally hit the bottle of rubbing alcohol instead.

Trying to catch it was out of the question so she just waited for the sound of the container hitting the floor, but it didn't come. Slowly Maria looked to the cold tile and saw a pair of unfamiliar boots. Her eyes made their way up the intruders form until her eyes locked on his crystal blue orbs.

"Would you like some assistance, Milady?" Legolas asked cautiously. He held the bottle in his left hand. Shocked by his surprise appearance, Maria lost her balance and was also caught by the skilled archer.

"Why do you always have to save the goddamn day all the time?" She yelled in frustration.

"I'm… well…" He stammered to explain himself when Ayumi burst into Maria's bathroom.

"We are all… in… the living room… what the hell is going on in here?" Ayumi questioned taking in the scene before her. There stood Legolas with a bottle of rubbing alcohol in one hand and Maria leaned against the other, that is until he dropped her.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH" Maria screamed causing Legolas to drop the bottle of rubbing alcohol as well and collapse to the floor in pain while covering his ears. Ayumi rushed to help Maria off the hard floor and onto the edge of the tub. When she was seated she sent a deadly stare in the direction of the elf who was now in the fetal position in the middle of the floor.

Without taking her daggered stare from the elf, she asked Ayumi to hand her the Peroxide and the other things needed to clean the now tingling scar on her leg. When he finally regained his ability to hear correctly he stood and straightened his clothes, returning the gaze that Maria laid so thickly.

"Sometimes I think you do that on purpose." Legolas growled between gritted teeth as he turned to leave the ladies alone.

"Sometimes you make me want to hit a higher note!" With that Legolas retreated mumbling about women of all species having the same mood swing problems. He reached the hallway and decided that he would just leave Maria alone for the remainder of their stay.

Back in the bathroom, Ayumi helped Maria take care of her injuries.

"What the hell bit you?" Ayumi asked as she disposed of the used supplies.

"I don't wanna talk about it," she sighed. "Where is Akiera?"

Ayumi tried her hardest to stifle a laugh, "She is a little busy right now. "

Caught up in his thoughts of Ana Maria, Legolas continued to walk to what the mortal girls called a 'living room' when his sensitive ears picked up another high pitched sound. Before he could even move out of the way he was knocked up against the hallway wall by the small creature that he hated. Behind him was the screaming tornado that the others called Akiera.

"GET THE FUCK BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!" Akiera blew past Legolas just as quickly as the critter before had. She was waving a small metal bat and almost hit Legolas in her attempt to catch the trouble making Gollum. Legolas cringed a moment later when another high pitched scream punctured his ears once again. "GOT'EM!" Akiera sang from some distance.

When entering the living room Legolas was surprised to see that Gandolf, Elrond, Arwen, Elrohir, Frodo, Samwise, and Gimili scattered around talking amongst themselves along with the others. He made his way towards Elrond and Elrohir who stood together examining the surroundings

"If I spend one more second in this place I think that I may possibly go mad!" Legolas confessed to the older elves.

"How long have you been here?" Elrohir asked.

"It seems like an eternity." Legolas complained.

A moment later Akiera entered the room dragging Gollum along in a kennel. "Does this thing belong to anyone here?" She stopped pulling and began to kick the box to the center of the room. Inside you could hear the faint cries of the trapped.

Frodo jumped toward the tan box but was stopped before he could reach the lock on the front. "Wait, is he fixed?... Did he get all his shots?... I need to know these things before I let him go." She questioned the fearful looking hobbit.

"Um… I don't know what you mean Ma'am." He looked up at her in confusion. "What are shots?"

"Oh come on Frodo…we do shots all the time back at the ol' pub…" Merry replied, a big smile of accomplishment spreading across his face.

"Then what does she mean by fixed? I don't think Gollum broke anything…unless he broke something in the process of running from you…" Frodo started, still looking somewhat confused.

"Um…no…that's not what I meant." Akiera replied a bit agitated as she rubbed her temples. " I don't mean shots, as in, drinking shots. I mean has he been given any type of medication so that he doesn't give any one rabies or something."

"Oh…what are rabies?" Frodo asked looking up innocently at Akiera.

"It's a disease you get when crazy animals bit you."

"But he's not crazy…he's just…"

"Useless…" Legolas through in from across the room.

"Well what did you mean by fixed?" Frodo asked, still looking at the girl innocently.

"Well...you…see…" Akiera bends down and whispers it in his ear and Frodo's expression starts to change from innocent and confused to just plain disturbed.

"OH MY VALAR!" Frodo screams as he continues to take it all in. "That's…that's…just wrong…it's…it's wrong…" Frodo said as he started to tear up a little.

"What's wrong?" Merry asked as he stepped closer. Frodo whispers it into his ear.

"No…n..no..that…that's no…not right. Why would someone do something like that?" Merry started to whimper as he clenched he's goods. The men of the room stared at Merry as they tried to get the meaning of being fixed. Though they didn't fully get the meaning they understood it meant something very, very painful for them and their most valuable of goods.

Maria and Ayumi walk or limp into the room only to find all the men looking as if they are close to tears.

"What the hell? Why the hell are all these guys so emotional?" Maria took another glance around the room. "Why…the hell is Merry holding his shit? Fucking pervert hobbit…" Maria shook her head in disgust as Akiera made her way over.

"Um…they all found out the meaning of She sat down on the couch next to her, crossing her legs.

"Oh…he's still a fucking pervert hobbit."

"Are we missing something?" Nicole stated as she entered the room and stared at the odd scene in front of her.

"Looks like we weren't invited." Anah replied as she started to pout.

"Shut the hell up and sit the fuck down." Maria said bitterly as she glared at her friend. Anah ignored the remark and makes for the kennel in the middle of the room.

"Aww…a doggy…here little doggy, doggy…" Anah makes for the lock on the front.

"NNNOOO!" Maria and Akiera screamed at the same time. But it was too late, Gollum was released from he's tiny prison as he leaped toward the one behind his imprisonment.

"Oohh shit…not again…" Ana Maria replied as she sat there frozen and as Akiera pulled off her boot to use as a weapon.

"SOMEONE GET THIS FUCKER!" Akiera screamed as she used the couch as a shield and clutched her boot tightly ready to swing.

"Make one more move and it will be your last." Legolas replied as he aimed a bow at the back of the head of the angry creature.

"FOR GODSAKES…KILL HIM AND GET IT OVER WITH!" Akiera screamed, Maria began inching slowly behind the couch, not sure of what the outcome might be but not wanting to get hurt any worse than she already was. Ayumi clutched tightly to a very happy Faramir and Nicole hide behind Elladan. Anah just stood there still holding the door of the kennel blinking every once and a while.

"Gollum will be good…precious…wes swears…" Gollum replied, slowly backing away from the girl.

"DAMN IT! Why won't anyone just kill the damn thing?" Ana Maria whined, slowly moving from behind the couch, making her way over to the elf as he continue to aim he's bow and arrow, not sure if he could trust the conniving creature.

"Come on…kill it…you know you want to…it'll make you fell so much happier…" Maria evilly whispered into the elf's ear, hoping he would give in and put the poor thing out of its misery. "…you know you can't trust it…"

"Maria! Enough…I'm not going to kill it because you want me to…everything doesn't revolve around you…you know…" Legolas snapped as he placed he's bow and arrow in their rightful place.

"Well excuse me if I'm looking out for my life…and I would think everyone one else's well being, as well, by seeing the damn defect in nature get put out of his misery…besides you want to get rid of him just as much as I do."

"That's not the point…and don't give me that bloody excuse about looking out for everyone else's well being…you care for no one but your self. All you do is bloody bitch and moan…"

"Well lately I have a lot to bitch and moan about…and don't you use that language with me mister."

"What are you my mum?"

"No…because if I was I would have killed myself or you a long time ago…"

"I can say likewise for you…the people that are the cause of your being should die a very painful and slow death."

Maria froze as the pictures from her father's tragic accident played in her head. Her father did die a slow, agonizing and painful death.

She bolted out the room leaving elf and everyone else standing there.

"God…you are such a jerk…" Akiera hissed as she glared at the elf.

"Um…this might be late…and a bad time to say this…but you too fight like an old married couple…" Nicole stated.

"You haven't been around a lot of old married couples have you?" Pippin asked.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because all the ones I know are really happy…bit scary…and boring…but happy."

"What old married couple is that?" Merry asked looking a bit confused.

"Galadriel and Celeborn." Pippin said happily.

"I'll probably go mad if I was married to that woman…I would be mad to marry her in the first place." Legolas replied somewhat baffled that she ran off in the middle of their argument. He's face turned to concern when he heard faint cries in the distance. "By the valar…" Legolas mumbled under his breath as his kindness kicked in and he made his way towards the girl room to apologize…as much as he didn't want to.

Anah grab a piece of newspaper and rolled it tightly as she made her way over to the creature Gollum.

"Bad…bad…doggy…bad…" She kept whacking Gollum on the nose with the paper as everyone watched in shock. "Bad…(whack)…very bad dog…(whack whack)…"

"Ouch…precious…it hurts…we swears we won't…we swears…" Gollum whined as he curled up into the fetal position.

"Um…Anah…!"

"Yeah?" Anah smiled at Ayumi.

"Gollum's…um…he's not…not a dog…sweetie…"

"Oh…well that explains a lot…"


	8. A Shattered Dream

**A/n: blah blah...I don't own lotr...don't want to...these guys are insane...INSANE I TELL YOU...**

Maria gripped tightly to her iron bed post, fighting a losing battle for control over her emotions. Why did he have such an affect on her? Why was she getting so heated and emotional over a man she was too young enough to remember even being around? Maybe it was that lingering hope that she held for so long, that he would come home and be the father that she always dreamed he was. That same dream that was torn to pieces the day the police showed up at her and her mother's doorstep that rainy day, four years ago.

Maria slowly sat on her bed, letting her fingers glide over the sealed envelope that now rested in her hand. Her fingers carefully going over each letter of her name, it was the only and last letter her father had written to her. His attorney had given it to her after telling her that she now controlled everything that was his. Yet, she was afraid to open it. Afraid that something in it would hurt her. She took a long sigh, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.

Maria jumped at the sudden knock at her door, quickly shoving the envelope back in its place before storming towards the door. She flung the door open before staring daggers into the person opposite her.

"What do you want?" Her words seeping venom. "You come to finish the job? Insult me some more? What?" Legolas stood, taken aback by her outburst. "God! Why are you here? Why?"

"I'm sorry…I should have never said those things…I never thought they would hurt you…" Legolas lifted a hand to wipe away her tears only to have it smacked away.

"Don't…don't touch me. Don't try to be so comforting and caring…I'm so fucking sick of your act…" Maria began to pace, wiping away her tears.

"What act-"

"This…this nice guy act…if you hate me then hate me…you don't have to pretend that you like me…"

"I don't hate you…you just…you just…"

"I just what?" Maria finally stopped pacing long enough to stare at the elf, folding her arms across her chest.

"I-I don't know…" He moved towards her until she was against the wall. "You do something to me…" His hand softly caressed her cheek. "When I'm near you I can't control my actions…I can't control my…emotions…" He kissed her softly before pulling away to stare into her eyes.

SMACK!

Legolas held his now sore cheek in his hand, gazing at Maria in shock as she made for the door, then turning to face him.

"Get out!" Legolas slowly made for the door, stopping only for a second to stare at her. He opened his mouth to say something only to close it again before leaving the room completely. Maria slid down the now closed door before sighing heavily, putting her head in her hands.

Thump.

"What. The. Hell?"

Thump.

Maria quickly rose from the floor, making for the hall. She stared blankly at Akiera, who stood next to the clothes hamper with her arms crossed.

"What the hell is that noise-"

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

"HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!" A faint voice cried from in the wall.

"Who the hell is that?" Maria asked, cautiously making her way towards her friend.

"Oh that's just Pippin." Akiera said matter-of-factly, examining her nails in the process.

"And why is Pippin in the wall?"

"Because I threw him in the hamper…" She shrugged her shoulders before giving her friend an evil grin.

"Hmm…let me rephrase that…why did you throw Pippin in the hamper?" Maria leaned against the wall next to her friend.

"Ahh…much better…well that's because our lovely little hobbit decided to sneak and watch me take a shower. Isn't that right Pip?" She banged on the wall only to receive another cry from the poor hobbit.

"Well that's…"

"GET BACK HERE!" Akiera and Maria back further against the wall as Gollum sped pass them followed by Anah, welding a rolled up newspaper.

"WE SWEARS WE DIDN"T DO IT WE SWEARS!"

"Do I even want to know?" Maria groaned.

"No…trust me you don't"


	9. Business and Pleasure

**A/N:** I'm sorry it's taking me so long to re-add chaps and new chaps but don't worry ch.12 is being written as we speak...this story has been frustrating me for the past three years...it's hard for me to write this the way I want it without so many other projects getting in the way of my creativity...so please bare with me and keep reviewing...I love reading ya'll opinions on what you like and didn't like and so forth...so please enjoy...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'em I don't want to own 'em...they're all insane I tell you...INSANE...

* * *

Chapter 9: **Business and Pleasure**

Weeks had passed and Legolas did everything in his power to avoid Maria, except when it was impossible, like during dinner, but that never stopped them from having some type of encounter with each other. The hobbits were acting even more pervy than normal since they had somehow mastered the technique of lock picking. Gandalf and Elrond were rarely seen since they focused most of their time on how to get home. They had figured out how they all ended up in this predicament in the first place. Let's just say two little hobbits were having way too much fun with some of Gandalf's things while he wasn't looking. When and if they ever got back home those two individuals were going to be in a shit load of trouble.

Ayumi sat in the entertainment room, rubbing her temples in annoyance, watching Maria and Legolas go at it like two six year olds fighting over crayons and cookies.

"OH YEAH…WELL YOU LOOK STUPID in…in GREEN." Maria folded her arms satisfied that she came up with her response so quickly. Ayumi rolled her eyes as Legolas put on a face of shock of being told that green wasn't his color.

"WELL, AT LEAST I DON'T FONDLE HOBBITS!"

"THAT-THAT NEVER HAPPENED….MERRY IS A GODDAMN LIAR!"

"You fondled Merry…I see maybe Fordo but MERRY!" Akiera shook her head in disgust "You're taste has somehow went to the gutters…whatever happen to you liking hot guys that look like Legs here or Glorfindel…"

"HEY…what's wrong with me…" Merry asked, finally catching on to her statement.

"IT NEVER HAPPENED….THAT WAS JUST MERRY BEING MERRY AND SNEAKING IN PEOPLES ROOMS…I NEVER FONDLED HIM…"

"You don't have to lie…"

"What?" Maria turned around, glaring at Merry in confusion and annoyance.

"I mean we shared something special and I don't think we should hide it…."

"What the HELL are you on?" Maria looked ready to pounce, while Merry looked at her with quizative eyes.

"I'm on the sofa… why?" Maria lounged toward him only to be held back by Akiera.

"Now…now…there's no need for this little lovers quarrel…not so early in your relationship…"she smirked.

"I thought you said she was sleep-" Pippin started only to have a hand clamped over his mouth by Merry.

"Shh…don't ruin this for me Pip." Merry whispered before letting him go.

"Hmmm…this explains a lot…so you like Hobbits?" Legolas asked, folding his arms across his chest and raising a questioning eyebrow.

"YOU…GET OVER HERE SO I CAN KICK YOU'RE A-"

"AS you can see, everyone is in the entertainment room." Nicole stated, leading a gorgeous man into the room. Maria blinked a few times before straightening herself out from her previous position of trying to strangle Legolas, to an upright one.

"Oh…my God…Jonathon when…when did you get in?" Maria cleared her voice noisily, trying to stir his attention away from the room full of odd looking individuals.

"Just an hour ago…" He's eyes slowly scanned the room before falling on her, giving her a once over. "…but of course you knew that already…I mean it is your job, right?" He stared into her eyes, smiling smugly at the twinge of embarrassment that played on her face before it was replaced with a look of authority.

"My job is to sign the best and to keep them that way…_not_ follow you around and keep up with your schedule like a little secretary…_that's_ your manager's job."

"Hm…can we talk…in private?" Maria nodded her head before making for the door, stopping to await Jonathon to follow suit. Jonathan smiled at everyone before turning to follow, placing his hand at the small of her back as he did.

Legolas glared at the door before shaking his head absent-mindedly and turning his head in the opposite direction, catching the site of a hurt looking Merry.

"What's wrong with you?"

"We haven't been an item more than a minute and she's already cheating on me…where did I go wrong? Where?"

"Oh shut up…you never had a chance with her…" Akiera stated.

"But…"

"We only went along with it to piss her off…"

"We all know that you snuck in her room while she was sleeping." Legolas added, folding his arms as he leaned back it his chair.

"But why did you…"

"Because it made for a really good comeback at the time…I needed something…she insulted my looks." Legolas shrugged his shoulders, taking a sip from his glass of water. "Me?... Look bad?" he scuffed.

"Which we all know is a lie…I mean looked at him…"

"What?"

(cough, cough) "Ummm…What?…I didn't say anything…" Akiera quickly took another swig from her own glass. "Sexy bitch.." She mumbled in between sips.

"What's a sexy bitch?" Legolas asked, his eyebrow rose in curiosity.

(cough) "Umm… (nervous laugh)…it's…it's nothing… (cough)…yeah…nothing…Oh... look at the time…I'm going to bed now…"

"It's only seven o'clock." Ayumi stated, giving Akiera an evil grin.

"Well…ummm…it's…never too early to…ummm…take…a…NAP…yeah…a nap." Akiera ran out of the room before anyone could respond.

'Yea... bet that nap includes double A batteries." Ayumi added when Akiera was safely out of ear shot. Merry, Pippin, and Legolas exchanged befuddled looks.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Pippin asked. "What are bat-taries"

"You may not want to know." Ayumi giggled fleeing the room before anymore questions where thrown her way. The two hobbits where staring at each other now as if reading each others minds.

"Oh no you don't," Legolas interrupted their telepathic exchange. But before he could stand to reach for his bow the two were off and down the hall towards Akiera's room to solve the mystery and answer their many questions. He shook his head and threw his hands in the air. "See no evil..."

The two mischievous little men pressed their ears to the door, listening hard for any sound that would indicate that she was there.

"I don't hear anything..." Merry whispered.

"Maybe she's in the bathroom." Pippin smiled evilly. "We could... you know..."

Maria positioned herself on the edge of her desk with her arms folded across her chest, her eyes firmly set on the man still standing in her office doorway.

"So how was your Tokyo tour?"

"It was great. Actually had a chance to visit my mother and catch up with some old friends…"

"That's nice…and the reason you are back so soon? You still had at least a week left of touring."

"Sangi broke his back in a bungee jumping incident…I'm surprised you didn't know this already…"

"What is it that I can help you with, Jonathon? I am sure you know what is needed and expected from you, since I personally left that information with your manager." Jonathon laughed softly, making his way further into the room, never once breaking eye contact with the girl.

"Is that all our relationship is to you…business?"

"Yes, what other way would I look at it? You are an artist on my record label-"

"Your _father's_ record label."

"Even so…it was left to me, which in point makes it mine none the less."

"Half…was left to you."

"Are you going to tell me why you are here or should I just have you thrown out now?"

"I'm here to talk about us…"

"There isn't any us…you are my artist that's it…"

"For now…" Jonathan stood inches from her, grinning down at her with amusement from the expression of shock that played on her face longer than she would have liked. "I thought that would catch your attention…I'm considering leaving the company. I mean my contract_ is_ nearly up…isn't it?"

"Why would you leave _the _top label that has done nothing but accommodate your every demand and made you into the star you are…"

"Yeah, but there is one thing that you haven't given me."

"And what is that?"

"You..."

"I don't date my artist…"

"Which is why I am considering leaving…which leaves you in a little predicament."

"How is that?"

"Well, if I leave you lose your top artist and if that happens the blame will solely rest on you. Since you made it your place to make sure you and only you handled my affairs, not the board... it's no secret that the broad of directors are itching for a way to get rid of you."

"Go on."

"Which brings me to negotiations…I know you love this little company too much just let them throw you out on your ass and take your half…so I propose that you sleep with me."

"What?" Maria nearly lost her position on her desk.

"Sleep with me…just once and I'll stay…I'll renew my contract and you get to keep your cozy little job that your daddy left you."

"You've got to be kidding me." Maria rose for her position to move to the other side of the room, only to be grabbed and spun around to face him. He let his fingers of his free hand comb through her hair.

"I'll make all your problems go away if you'll just grant me this one thing." His thumb brushed over her lips as he leaned in to kiss her.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" The two of them jumped at the sound of the scream. Maria pushed Jonathan away, running to the door to find the source of the noise. Maria blink a few times as she saw a flash of what looked like two hobbits running passed her office, soon followed by a purple robed figure.

"COME BACK HERE YOU BASTARDS!"

"What was that?" Jonathan asked, staring out into the now empty hallway, except for the occasional head that pocked out of a room.

"I don't know but I think you have over stayed your welcome." Maria replied firmly, turning her hard gaze upon the musician.

"Yeah, I guess it is time for me to be on my way…" He leaned in close to her, trapping her against the wall "…but don't forget my offer…" He whispered seductively before walking away. "Oh and you should really tell your friends that they should really lay off the whole role playing thing…it's kind of weird." Maria let out a heavy sigh before cringing at the sound of another ear piercing scream.

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH…NO…NO…GET OUT….GET OUT…YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT."

"MOVE OUT OF MY WAY YOU OLD HAG..."

"OLD? OLD? I'M NOT OLD…"

"OH YEAH! YOUR OLDER THAN HALF MY ANCESTORS COMBINED YOU OLD BAT…NOW MOVE OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE I MOVE YOU MYSELF."

Maria slowly made her way towards the yelling only to find Akiera standing at the door of the guest bathroom that Aragon currently occupied, in nothing but a little purple bath robe glaring at Arwen, who refused to let her pass and behind her was a very wet and very naked Aragon looking for a towel.

"What the hell is going on here…weren't you looking for Merry and Pippin?"

"Merry? Pippin? ...OH….yeah…Merry….and…and Pippin…that's what I was looking….for…yeah…got a little…distracted... You see why I'm distracted don't you?" Akiera grinned past a steaming Arwen

"WILL YOU TELL HER TO GO AND FIND HER OWN MAN TO DROOL OVER!" Arwen stated, folding her arms over her chest.

"Sorry…I can't help you…"

"WHAT?" Arwen looked shocked that someone refused to do something for her.

"Not my place…not my business…so sorry…" Maria walked away leaving Akiera grinning from ear to ear and Arwen steaming with anger. Arwen raised her hand, as if to attack her, only to be punched in the face by Akiera. Aragon stopped looking for a towel and stood there shocked.

"What did you do?"

"Oh nothing…" Akiera smiled evilly before stepping over Arwen's unconscious form, _accidentally_ kicking her in the process, towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

"Hey…wait…what are you…but…that's…WOW YOU'RE FLEXIBLE!"


	10. Decisions

Chapter 10:** Decisions**

Legolas paced the hall, his mind filled with only thoughts of her. It's driving him mad, he doesn't like her, never has, never will. Then why the hell is he so pissed about the sudden appearance of that man? Who was he and why did he want to see her in the first place? Legolas stopped pacing, looking around slightly confused. Was he really that pissed about the whole thing?

"Why the bloody hell am I pacing? I don't care, I should be thankful he took that damned woman off my hands. But where does she get off? Angry, spiteful...ARRGH!!!" Legolas kicked the wall once realizing he was pacing yet again.

Akiera lazily tossed her laptop aside, finally stretching after hours of typing, even though she felt like she had gotten nowhere the entire time. Slowly she climbed off her overly sized and pillowed bed before heading towards her bathroom, stopping at the sudden sound of noise coming from outside of her bedroom door.

"What the hell can it be now?" Akiera mumbled, slowly making her way towards her door to find the source of the noise.

Maria stared at her ceiling trying to figure out how she had managed to get her self into yet another dilemma without even trying, the first being the whole matter with the elf. It's not like she cared about the whole thing with Legolas, at least she didn't think she did, but she just couldn't believe her crappy luck when it came to these awkward situations. How was she to choose between what she thought was right or wrong and the company she loved, as her father did? But, in a way she had no one to blame but herself, she should have never tried to handle him and his band all by her self. If she would have just let the board have their two cents in the decisions of the band in the beginning she probably wouldn't be in this predicament. Even if she was she wouldn't have to actually consider his offer or loss her label.

So what to do? She couldn't just sleep with him but she couldn't let him ruin the job that she held so dear. She needed to talk to someone about this; it couldn't be Akiera she would just tell her to sleep with him and then point out how gorgeous he was while offering to take Maria's place. Ayumi could never be found, come to think of it Faramir has been missing in action for sometime as well (note to self find Faramir, maybe he will know where Ayumi is.). Anah would just give a long lecture about how wrong it was to even consider his offer. And Nicole would just tell her to do what she felt was right. Who and the hell needed that crappy advice? She needed someone to give her an answer that involved keeping her company and maybe her band without having to screw the lead singer to have it. At times like this she really wanted to scream at her father for ever even considering her to take his place in the business.

What she really needed was a nice long walk to clear her mind of this whole thing. Maybe she'll get her answer in the process. Maria sighed, sitting up in bed before slowly getting to her feet. She then made the long walk towards their backyard garden.

Meanwhile, somewhere hidden in the untouched sections of the estate….

Faramir slowly sits up in bed, starching his arms in the process. Scratching his head he turns his attention to the figure lying beside him, he smiles down warmly upon her. He softly caressed her cheek before leaning down to kiss her. She slowly wakes and returns his loving smile. (I know it's cheesy but bare with me.)

"You have awoken my love. Did you sleep well?"

"You ask me that every morning and every morning I say the same thing...as long as I dream of you I can never sleep bad." Ayumi sat up before kissing Faramir passionately.

"My, I do love your morning greetings. Do you think that it's time that we should let everyone know where we are?"

Ayumi positioned her self on top of the man, smiling down mischievously at him.

"Nah…let them worry a little while longer."

Maria walk was short lived; she had run into Elrond on her way. Thinking that maybe he would give her some good advice on the situation of her problem, considering he's been around far longer than anyone she knew, she told him her story. The whole event turned out to be something she never wanted to think or talk about ever again. She had chills for days after that don't think she will ever be the same.

She sighed as she entered her room once again, still undecided as what to do with her problem or how to solve it. She was looking at the end of a doubled edge sword and there wasn't anyway out of it. She turned on her side, staring at the only picture she had of her and her parents as a whole. It made her smile, even though she was far too young to even remember taking that picture or where they were when it was taken.

She closed her eyes as she finally sat up, reaching for the cordless on its receiver. She breathed heavily before dialing the number she had found written on a piece of paper on her night stand. It was time for her to come to a decision and stick with it, no matter the out come.

She slowly dialed the number, nervously waiting for the person on the other in to answer.

"Hello? Yeah…we need to talk?"

Akiera slowly made her way out of her room to find the cause of the ruckus she had been obligated to listen to for the past five minutes. When she found the source, she was ready to scream her head off, but stopped once seeing the tormented and confused expression on Legolas' face. She took a long sigh before approaching the elf.

"Can I ask why you are out here making so much damn noise?" Legolas met the eyes of Akiera, no longer able to hide his confusion.

"Why?"

"Why…what?"

"Why do I feel this way about her?"

"About who? Maria?" Akiera studied him for a minute, realizing this is exactly who he was referring to. "OOOOOOOO…..you like Mariaaaaaaaa…..oooooo….goose bumps…goose….bumps…"

"SHUT UP!!! I NEVER SAID I LIKED HER!!!...AND I DON'T…I…just…"

"Yeah, but it's written all over your face…aww…so cute…"

Legolas sighed, defeated. "What should I do? I'm so confused, I hate her so much, she drives me crazy. Yet, I can't help but care about her and worry the next. I just want to hold her when she's hurting…"

"Aww…that's so fucking sweet" Akiera wiped the tear from her eye. "Buttt…"

"But…what?"

"You should just forget about her."

"What?"

"Yeah…forget about her."

"But, I can't…I think I care about her too much."

"Yeah…that's nice…seriously let her go…she's not your type…she's too…what's the word?" Akiera takes the moment to think it over. "…Ummm….flaky? Yeah, but no…eh…forget it…just forget it…"

"I can't…I just can't do that…"

"And why not?? You have four other hot chicks you could forget her with…" Akiera winked seductively at the elf.

"No, I want her…only her…" Akiera began to laugh. "What? Why are you laughing?"

"I didn't think you would be this easy to break…man…I got you singing like a fucking canary." Legolas looked confused.

"You…mean…this was all a…a joke??"

"No I wouldn't say a joke…more of a way to get you to actually admit how you feel…"

"So...you just put me in an awkward position to get me to realize what I wanted?"

"Yeah…pretty much."

"Sssooo…you didn't mean everything you just said?"

"Ummm…..no…no…I-I meant it…but it was a way to get you to talk."

"So…"

"Yeah just forget her…it'll never work."

"But…"

"Dude you're from two different worlds…not going to work out…" With that Akiera walked away, leaving Legolas in a far worse state than he was before their little chat.

"Women…" Legolas mumbled before heading in a direction of his own. It was time to make a decision and at this point he didn't care about the consequences any longer.


	11. Confrontations

Maria quickly threw on her coat, buttoning it with shaky fingers. Her nerves were getting the best of her it seemed. This was it for her; it was now the deadline of her answer to the young artist's offer. She had tried to find a way around this whole thing but it seemed that all her attempts were futile. She even tried to discuss the matter with her mother; it seemed that even she was too busy for her daughter, in the end she quickly responded that she should do whatever it took to ensure her position. In other words, sleep with him to ensure the continuation of her (her mothers) life of luxury.

She took her time buttoning the last button, the fear of what was to come slowly seeping in. What did she do to deserve this, to deserve her life to be flipped upside down? Hadn't she done everything to ensure everyone's happiness? Now here she was, standing at a fork in the road, created by one of those people who life she tried to make better. Tears slowly began to weld up in her, leaning on the wall for support now, unable to stand. She tried to compose herself, to put herself in a business frame of mind. She couldn't, she just can't do this, and she shouldn't have to. Her tears began to flow out of her, seeming to not want to cease, her head leaning against the wall, softly pounding it with her fist, still asking herself 'why?'. She never once noticed the figure that entered the room until their arms were wrapped around her, comforting her, consoling her pain with their embrace.

She softly pushed away, looking up at the figure. She quickly wiped away her tears, trying harder to get a better hold of herself, yet, it was still too hard for her. It seemed her tears wanted to flow worse than before. She clapped her hand over her face, turning her back to the figure. She didn't want to be seen like this, ever, she needed to get a hold on herself.

She felt hands softly caress her shoulder as she was turned around again, her hands removed from her face and replaced by his, slowly wiping away her tears.

"Why do you cry…this time?" Legolas asked, giving her a faint smile as he wiped away another tear. Maria slowly pulled his hand from her face before taking at seat on the edge of a near by chair, staring into his eyes as he kneeled before her.

"I-I just can't…" She fought to hold back the new set of tears that tried to come forward. "I just can't do this?" Her voice nearly coming out as a whisper, her gaze falling from his to a button on her coat.

"Do what?" Legolas caressed her check, bringing her gaze back to his. She remained silent. He sighed. "If this thing is causing you this much pain, then perhaps you shouldn't do it…"

"I can't!" She began to lose the on going battle with her tears. "If I don't do this…everything….everything is gone. I will have nothing….my friends…my…my family…will have nothing…everything they have worked hard on will mean nothing….everything we have…everything I own…is invested in this one thing. If this thing only affected me and me alone this would be different, but it doesn't. I will not allow my friends lives and dreams to be shattered because of my selfishness. I have to do this…I have to sleep with him…"

"Sleep with…who??" Legolas' gazed turned hard as he grabbed hold of her. "Is it him? That man that was here the other night? Maria, don't do this." Maria glanced into his eyes that seemed to be begging and pleading with her; she couldn't stare anymore and turned her attention back to the button on her coat.

"I have no choice…If I don't the ones I love will suffer…I fund their dreams…their lives…if I lose that company…I lose all of my inheritance…there will be nothing left…"

"Don't….don't do this…"

"I have no…"

"YES...you do...you always have a choice…" Legolas massaged his temples before taking his position back kneeling in front of her. "Have you discussed this with everyone else? Did they tell you to do this? If they have, then they are no true friends of yours. They care nothing for your own well being and more for your fortune…"

"They don't know…they don't even know that all of my inheritance…this place…the money to fund their businesses are all tied into this company…"

"They should know…"

"No! I won't…they shouldn't have to give everything up because of me…this was my mistake…and this will be my downfall…not theirs…" Maria rose from her chair, making for the door. Legolas grabbed her before she could reach the knob, pinning her to the door.

"Don't do this…please…I'm begging you…refuse him and stay here…with me…don't make this mistake…" Legolas cupped his hands around her face, softly caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Why are you doing this? Why?" She tried to push him away from her but he wasn't budging, he refused to.

"Are you so blind that you can't see it?" He studied her with his eyes, caressed her hair softly with his finger tips before returning to cup her face again. His lips brushed hers. "I love you..." His tongue forcefully penetrated her lips and began to intertwine with her own. His hands began to roughly roam her body, causing a faint moan to sound in her throat.

"AARRRGGGHHHH!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? YOU DAMN HOBBIT, GIVE ME BACK MY SHIT!!" The couple quickly broke apart in time to notice Merry entire the room holding a very peculiar (yeah I think that's a good enough word to describe it) object that seemed to be making a humming noise in his hand. Maria stared at the amazed yet, scared hobbit in front of her in shock.

"I need to hide…she's trying to kill me…all I did was take this noisy, shaking stick…" Merry whispered, looking back and forth for a good place to hide.

"You damned hobbit…are you in here??" Akiera entered the room finding the hobbit frozen in place, with his back to her. "HAH…THERE YOU ARE!! Now hand over what's in your hand and no one will get hurt…" Akiera eased slowly towards Merry, who started to whimper in fear that she was going to rip his head off. Maria continued to watch in complete and utter shock, while Legolas look confused as to why this odd stick Merry was holding was so important. Akiera got in inches of the hobbit only to have Gollum appear out of nowhere and snatching the item before Akiera.

"ARRGH!! GOT DAMN IT!!" Everyone watched as Gollum banged the item a few times on the floor before putting it in his mouth to taste and finally tossing it to the side. Merry slowly walked over to the item, picked it up, examined it, and then offered it over to Akiera. Akiera blinked a few times as she stared at the item, slowly backing towards the door.

"Yeah…you know what? Never mind…I'm sure I can find _'someone'_…to replace it…yeah…" With that Akiera left leaving Merry to continue his earlier examination of the object. Maria blinked a few times, clearing her head of the recent scene before straightening out her coat and reaching for the door.

"Maria…no…" Legolas tried to stop her but it was too late, she was gone and he was alone…well except for the hobbit and his 'special' stick. Legolas leaned against the door, defeated, his body slowly sliding down it. He sat there, blank, he had lost. Slowly he stood to his feet, his expression changing to emotionless and cold. Without another word, he fixed his tunic and headed out of the room.

Merry never once taking his eye from the stick the whole time, began to stare at the ceiling.

CRACK!

Merry watched as a small crack in the ceiling continued to grow larger and larger by the second.

CRACK!

CRACK!

Merry slowly backed towards the arch way of the room.

CRASH!

"ARRGGH….OUCH!!!" Merry stared at the figure on the ground.

"Gimili???" Merry blinked a few times as Gimili began to stand.

"Oh…that's going to leave a mark." Gimili started wiping plaster and powder off of him as he stared at the large hole in the ceiling that he fell from.

"Umm…Gimili…what happened?? And what is that paper on your leg??" Merry stared at the waxing paper attached to Gimili's now, somewhat, hairless leg.

"Well, you see…I was in the bathroom minding my business and this spider came out of nowhere. So, I took me axe and tried to kill it. Long story short, I guess I whacked at it too hard and caused the ground to cave in." Gimili explained with a slight grin on his face, turning to look for his axe hidden under all the dupery.

"Okay? But, what, may I ask, is with the paper…on your leg?" Gimili stopped his search, staring at Merry like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Um…well…you see…funny thing…OH LOOK AT THAT!"

"What?" Merry turned to see what Gimili was talking about…only to find nothing there and Gimili gone.


	12. The Life Altering Choice

**A/N:** _**I feel like I must put this warning up here for this chap since it gets a little hot and heavy at a certain point...and even though it's rated as high as can be...some might not want to read it...I mean in my opinion it's pretty clean compared to other stuff I've written...so...yeah...sorry this new chap took forever to write and post...hope you all enjoy...and I still own nothing...just the few characters that I've created...**_

The music wasn't loud enough she decided since her thoughts were still audible in her head, so much so that she almost didn't stop for the red light she was damn near under.

"It's just sex…" She said to the empty BMW. "…and he's not that bad looking…" A flash of Legolas frustrated face appeared before her eyes for only a moment before the impatient driver behind her sprung her back to the now green light.

"Not…loud…enough…" She reached for the stereo volume button and pressed the gas.

Legolas couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't shut off his mind when it came to the mess of a girl, named Maria. His heart and his conscience wouldn't allow him to just let her go through with sleeping with that man. No, he had to find her and stop her.

Without bothering to address anyone in the house, he made for the door, taking in the outside world for the first time. Unfortunately, he didn't take into consideration that he knew nothing of their outside world. Taking in a long and deep breath he allowed his kin hearing to take over, trying to pick up any sound that could possibly take him to her.

The heavens cried as she walked towards her fate, the rain covering her with its essence as she stood outside his home. It did little to help sooth Maria's mind, only helped to conceal her tears and hide her pain. She took a shaky sigh, staring from his front door to her car and then towards the street, as if to find someone there to save her from this thing.

With another sigh she wiped her tears before knocking on Jonathon's door. In the matter of minutes he was standing there grinning from ear to ear to find her on the other in.

"So we've come to a decision, have we?"

Maria bypassed him into his place not bothering to even take the time to address him with an answer. She tossed her wet jacket into a corner of the room turning on her heels with her arms folded and began to stare at him with the expression that she always used when conducting business. This is how she decided to deal, to treat it as if it was nothing more than another business transaction.

He moved closer to her, lifting his hand to caress her cheek only to have her stop him, her eye boring holes into him.

"This is it; we do this once and only once. You will never bring this up and will not use this to gain leverage over me. And if you do…I will make sure that you'll be eating your words. Understand? Everything continues as if this thing never happened."

Jonathon looked disappointed at her sudden demands, especially when the ball had never left his court. He took an annoyed sigh, folding his arms across his chest.

"Honestly, you're taking the fun out of this thing. What's the point of even bothering doing this if I can't brag about this later?" Maria rolled her eyes, grabbing her jacket as she made for the door. "Okay…okay, I was just joking." He grabbed her upper arm, turning her to face him again, slowly backing her into a nearby by wall. She cringed at the walls coldness as it touched her bare arms. He put an arm on each side of her, preventing an easy escape. He leaned in, capturing her lips with his own. He had won, she being his defeated prize.

Jonathon broke the kiss, smiling down at her, his hand coming up to trace a path down her middle, undoing buttons as he went. Maria closed her eyes, trying her best not to break down. The sound of him undoing his belt and the zipper of his jeans caused her to hold her breath. This whole thing was beginning to repulse her.

Her eyes burst open at the sudden pain of her wrist being roughly pinned above her by one of his large hands. The other hand disappeared under the hem of her skirt. Maria let out a gasp as he attacked her neck with his mouth, basking in the sound of her resistant moans.

They both jumped at the sound of the door being torn from its hinges, finding a very pissed off elf standing on the other side.

"Legolas?"

"Son of a BITCH my DOOR!"

"Move away from her or you'll have an arrow shoved so far up your arse, you'll be shitting pieces of wood for years to come." He emphasized his point by removing one of his arrows from it resting place, placing the tip of it to the man's throat before he could even finish blinking. "Are you alright?" She nodded her head, not bothering to look up before she fixed her clothes. _'Bloody hell, she's ashamed.'_

Legolas anger rose at the pain this man had caused her, pain that she shouldn't have to go through. He shoved the man away from him, clenching and unclenching his fist as he stared at him with so much hate that the darkest of souls would have recoiled in fear. Before he could get a handle on his anger he had punched the guy so hard that he was unconscious before he hit the ground.

Legolas released a breath he didn't know he was holding, slowly turning towards Maria who stared at the unconscious figure in a daze. She jumped at the sudden feel of his fingers on her cheek, guiding her to stare at him and not Jonathon.

"You're okay now." His thumb began caressing her cheek, giving her comfort. She blinked, trying to fight back the tears that wanted to come forth.

"Legolas…I..." He kissed her, he hadn't plan on it but he couldn't help himself to her lips. The whole thing had brought out so many emotions in him that he no longer had control of any of them.

He broke the kiss, making a trail with his lips down her neck. His fingers forgetting his elegance as they clumsily attacked the buttons to her shirt. He almost moaned at the feel of her small hands covering his, the sensation sending a spark through his very being. He removed himself from her neck, gazing down at her. She slowly push him away, smiling seductively as she removed the shirt that had been in his way before pulling him back close to her.

He recaptured her lips, his hands caressing her thighs before disappearing under her skirt to remove the thin material there. A moan escaped him, feeling her hands lose their patients as they tried to remove the only material that lied between them. Legolas guided her hands gentling away from his bottoms, allowing them to caress his chest before settling them around his neck. His hands caressed her thighs again before wrapping them around his middle. He deepened their kiss, concealing her moans of ecstasy.

He broke the kiss, burring himself in her hair and taking in the scent of her that sent him over the edge. He searched again for her lips only to feel something odd poking him in his side.

POKE!

POKE!

POKE! POKE!

POKE! POKE! POKE!

Legolas blinked, only to find Maria gone and him standing on a side walk.

"What.in.the.bloody.hell???"

PPPPOOOOOKKKKEEEE!

Legolas eye began to twitch, staring down to see a stick continuously poking him in his side. His eyes followed the stick until he found a hand attached to it, which was attached to none other than Akiera.

"What in Valor are you doing?"

Akiera laughed nervously, hiding the stick behind her back.  
"What…what…are you talking about…I wasn't doing anything with a stick."

"Yes, the bloody innocent always know what the latter party was refering to without actually mentioning anything." Legolas shock his head, combing his fingers through his hair out of frustration. "What are you doing here and why, may I ask, were you poking me with a BLOODY stick?"

"One…the stick isn't bloody because if it was I would have been too busy hiding the body…two, you ran out the house like the road runner on crack…and three, you were kind of out of it…but I didn't want to touch you because you looked a little hot and bothered…and the last thing I need is to get molested by an out of it elf…though then again that wouldn't have been so bad….bbbuuutttt Maria would have been pissed if the neighbors saw…"

"Shut up or the neighbors will be complaining about the dead girl on the lawn." Annoyed and irritated, Legolas headed back towards the house. It was no use now; he wouldn't find her in time.

Akiera followed behind Legolas, continuing her fun from earlier of poking him with it.

"So, where were you going?"

"None of your Business."

"WHERE?"

POKE!

"Buggar off."

POKE!

"No."

POKE!

"ARRGH!"

POKE!


	13. A Dinner Full Of Mayhem

**A/N:** _**I know...I know it's taken me a long time to post a new chapter...I honestly had this written for a while now but never found the time to type it up...that and the fact that I don't know if I like it...I hope you all find it funny. I'm running out of funny stuff to write, it's a hard thing to do when you don't feel funny.**_

Chapter 14: A Dinner Full Of Mayhem

Legolas violently stabbed at his food with his fork, occasionally sending a bone chilling glare in Maria's direction. Everyone around him said nothing, too afraid to voice their opinion.

"Sssooo…" Akiera twitched when Legolas plunged his fork loudly into a carrot. "So, how was your day, Maria?" At hearing the incoherent mumblings of the elf, who words the other elfin ears at the table could barely make out, she began to cough nervously. He was not going to make this dinner any pleasant for them.

"My day?" She took to swallow her chicken. "My day was surprisingly amazing, though I can't say the same for now…" Maria jumped when something hit the side of her face before landing not too far from her plate. She looked puzzled at the carrot that lied there, rising an eyebrow when another join it. Growling when another hit her, she started searching for the culprit. "What.the.hell.is.WRONG with you?"

"You." Legolas answered bluntly, launching another carrot.

"Me? What the hell did I do to you?"

"What the hell haven't you done, except fuck the living shit out of him?" Akiera mumbled, biting into her piece of chicken, receiving a carrot to the temple for her remark. "HEY!" Akiera, seeking revenge, launched her own attack. Only she missed Legolas and hit Arwen instead.

"My valor! Do you realize that you just ruined a priceless piece of art?" Arwen shrieked, rising from her chair. Aragon grabbed her arm in an attempt to calm her.

"Calm yourself, it was just a carrot."

"Just a carrot….JUST A CARROT…"

"Arwen…please…not in public…"

"NOT in PUBLIC…NOT IN PUBLIC…SCREW You and your NOT in PUBLIC. I was violated by a carrot and you tell me not in_ public_."Arwen picked up her fork full of mashed potatoes, dumping them on Aragon's head and smearing it in to ensure that it stayed.

Maria rolled her eyes, turning her attention to the irate elf across from her that never bother to acknowledge the scene that had just taken place. Boring holes into Maria's existence was far more important. "What the hell are you so pissed about?"

"Oh don't act like you don't know. Crying all over my shoulder and then coming in here as if the day was fantastic. What so great about it?"

"Excuse me…but I wasn't finished…"

"Of course I don't know what your….oh…that…"

"Yes, that."

"That…what…what happened?"Ayumi scooted her chair closer to Legolas.

"Nothing."

"No, it wasn't nothing…you were going…"

"I didn't."

"You didn't what?" Akiera raised an eyebrow, expressing her new found interest in the discussion.

"Can someone pass the rolls?"

Nicole handed over the basket of rolls to Anah. "Could you pass the broccoli?"

"You didn't?"

"I didn't"

"Hello…my dress?"

"This chicken is quite good." Elrond finished off the last piece on his plate before replacing it with another.

"Yes, quite, but these potatoes…"

"Are just to die for." Glorfindel finished Gandolf's statement. "What is that…garlic?"

"Wait, what do you mean you didn't? What didn't you do?" Frodo turned his large, puppy dog eyes on Maria. She started to twitch under his stare, finding it hard not to give him the answer he wanted.

"Must…not…answer..hobbit..." Maria tried to focus her attention back on Legolas, only to find her self staring at the young hobbit again. "His powers are too great."

"Oh yes…that has to be garlic…" Pippin savored the taste of his chicken. "…but do I taste a hint of lemon in the chicken?"

"Is anyone paying any attention to me…and my dress….hello?"

"I should probably wash these potatoes out of my hair."

"Yeah, you need some help?" Akiera gave the ranger a naughty wink.

"Didn't you want to find out the story behind Legolas's episode?"

"I was not having an episode."

"Eh, I'll find out later."

"You were so having an episode. It was like a four year old little girl finding out she couldn't get the doll she wanted….you bitch." Anah finished her glass of wine in one setting, grabbing the bottle to pour another.

"Only I help Arry with stuff like that."

"Did she just call him…Arry? Hehehe…Arry." Faramir snickered, falling face first into his plate.

"Someone had too much to drink…you know..It'll be better if we bathed than showered"

"Bath it is…you have any of that strawberry scented bubble bath stuff?" Aragon locked arms with the blond and made for one of their private bathrooms.

"Am I invisible or something?" Arwen huffed off after the two.

"You know…this juice is nice."

"Merry, that's not juice. It's wine." Elladan slurred, downing another glass.

"Precious likes the broccolis…Gollum…Gollum."

"Then why is Gimli drinking out of a sippy cup?"

"This is not a sippy cup…it's a very high advance piece of material that keeps me from spilling…"

"It's a fucking sippy cup…bitch." Anah tore into her roll.

"So why didn't you?" Legolas placed his napkin over his plate after wiping the corners of his mouth.

"Why didn't I what?" Maria mentally shook herself, finally breaking free of Frodo's spell to stare at the elf across from her.

"I need a smoke. Wish I had some of that good ol' Toby."

"Didn't…you know."

"Merry if you smoke…I'll kill you." Nicole held up her knife to emphasize that she was to be taken seriously. The point was lost once she dropped it and started to giggle uncontrollably.

"Lady Nicole, you are one sexy…lady…human…person. I think we should get naked and fornicate…" Elladan lunged for the poor girl, pinning her to the table, knocking over glasses and plates in the process.

"Maybe we should talk about this in private or where one of your friends isn't trying to fuck one of mine…on the dining room table."

"Brother, please." Elrohir tried, with the help of Elrond, to pry Elladan off of Nicole. With very little protesting coming from the girl.

"Soo…how about that private talk?"

"Your room or mine?"

"Let's go." Maria rose from her chair to follow Legolas, avoiding flying objects as she did.

"I think that there is no helping it, we should just leave these two alone." Ayumi tried to leave with the weight of a half conscious Faramir resting on her shoulder. She received nods from the few people that were in the room and weren't transfixed on the couple on the table, who had apparently had far too much wine.

"Precious wants to watch."

"Merry and I second that."

"I blame all this on the elf and that girl." Frodo turned his puppy dog eyes onto Anah. After a long battle to not give in, she cracked.

"DAMMIT ALL TO HELL…it's their fault…they did it…they caused all the problems in the world." Anah whimpered, twisting the ears of the two horny hobbits to detour them from the room.

"NO ONE SIDES WITH MY FRODO BUT ME." Sam ran towards Frodo, holding the poor hobbit to his chest before dragging him out the room.

"Just move her over to the right…"

"No…no…I think a little to the left…yeah there we are…" Pippin wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth.

"EVERYBODY JUST GET THE HELL OUT!" Anah twisted their ears even harder, dragging them out the room in pain. Followed close behind by a fearful Gollum.


End file.
